Tomorrow: Field Trip to the Grove

The Men's Club 2008

• Dr. Mike has invited everyone to a road trip tomorrow. We are having breakfast at the Grove Cafe on the grounds of Spring Grove Hospital Center. (For directions , menu, and pictures, click on the link http://www.springgrove.com/cafe/cafe.html). We will be meeting there at 8 am. Various folks have suggested this is a ploy to either get some of us committed for treatment or to let others have the table by the front door at Sam's. Patty will be joining us! I have also been dared to yell "I must be crazy to eat here!" during breakfast.
• Charlie's memorial service was very touching; we laughed and cried. Some favorite stories about Charlie were shared. Chuck recalled how Charlie built bookshelves in his basement for Bob White. However, when he went to deliver them, he discovered that the shelves were too big to get out of the cellar! He had to saw them in half and put them back together later.

• His grandson, Ryan, recalled that Charlie was helping him convert the garage into a bedroom. Charlie asked Ryan if he could drive, and 14-year old Ryan said "Yup". He asked if he could use a clutch, and Ryan said, Yup". Well, Ryan backed Charlie's truck right through the wall they just built. Ryan said Charlie said every cuss word he knew.....all in one sentence. He said Charlie woke him up at 8 every morning until the wall was rebuilt.

• We learned that Charlie earned the nickname "Splash" when he fell in the water one cold January day trying to tie up a boat at the marina. (This was right after his kidney transplant.) Patty told Charlie he couldn't play with that friend anymore.

It was good to see so many of Sam's regulars giving support to Patty today. It was especially nice to see Chuck and Joe , who came in from out-of-state . Patty must be very tired, but she was gracious to everyone and seemed well. We all spent time looking at Charlie's old photos and learning a little more about this special man. Here's a true story that even made Patty laugh. Laura and I were admiring the beautiful flower arrangements when Laura asked me why the banner on the coffin said "farmer"; had Charlie been a farmer? Is that why one of the arrangements said "Lanham Beans" ? I said I didn't think so. Turns out that from Laura's viewpoint the sentiment "I love you forever" looked like "I love you farmer" !

Bill White recalled one of Charlie's favorite stories he liked to tell about himself, and you can just hear Charlie telling it and laughing. Charlie had been in some sort of trouble and his mother must have been frustrated with him. She shook her finger at Charlie and said, "Your father has two assholes, and you are one of them!" Ah, we miss your sense of humor already, Charlie.

Viewing and Funeral Information

Charles Joseph Lanham
June 30, 1940 - January 19, 2008


Visitation will be held at Loudon Park Funeral Home on Wednesday, January 23rd from 2-4 and 6-8 p.m.

Services for Charles Joseph Lanham will be held January 24, 2008, at 11:00 AM at the following location:

Loudon Park Funeral Home and Loudon Park Cemetery
3620 Wilkens Avenue
Baltimore, MD 21229
(410) 644-1900

Interment Loudon Park Cemetery at 11:45 am.

Farewell, Charlie

Charlie was removed from the respirator last evening at 5 pm, and passed away this afternoon at 12:30 pm. Patty is exhausted and at home resting now. I'll post arrangements when they have been finalized. We will all miss Charlie, his sense of humor, his optimism, and his willingness to help anybody. Patty, you remain in our prayers.


The Farewell By Manuel Castro


Goodbye
In every life
there comes a time
for giving thanks
and to say goodbye.

Even though you may
be miles apart,
your memories will keep you
close at heart.

So don’t be disheartened
at the thought of distance
that can’t remove the memories;
your heart’s closest treasures.

May you be blessed
in all that you do,
and may you experience
lots of happiness too!

Goodbye for the moment
’till we meet again.
May our friendship be a treasure
that will never end.

First Snowfall of 2008

View from the 695 entrance ramp (or how to spend time when stuck in traffic)


No news about Charlie yet today. I will post an update as soon as I learn something. Somehow the swirling snowflakes and thoughts of Charlie seemed mingled together in the gray sky.

In the good news column (hooray for good news), Jack's pacemaker surgery went well and he is back home napping.

Glenn had a great idea to start a Sam's directory with contact information for anyone who wishes to participate. More about that later.

Not Good News

Patty and Charlie

Gladys and Jack

• Well, it truly is not easy to write this. Our good old friend, Charlie, is losing his long and courageous battle against illness. He is unconscious now (a blessing because he has been suffering). He is on a ventilator, both kidneys have ceased to work, he has pneumonia.... if he survives tonight, he will be moved into "Comfort Care" or hospice tomorrow. The doctor feels there is little hope for recovery and that the end will come in hours or days. Charlie's own father was hospitalized yesterday in the Laurel Hospital with pneumonia, so this is a doubly stressful (unbearable) time for his family. Patty is a strong, brave woman, but I can't imagine how she is holding up. She appreciates all of our thoughts and prayers.
  

• Jack went to see the doctor yesterday and learned that his pulse was extremely slow. So he is having a pacemaker implanted this evening. Jack is at St. Agnes Hospital and should be home on Friday. Good news here is that his successful surgery should make many of his symptoms disappear. Thoughts and prayers go out to Gladys and Jack tonight too.

Prayers for Charlie

Please keep Charlie in your thoughts and prayers. He is having a trach put in tomorrow and has pneumonia. He is in intensive care at Johns Hopkins. Patty is remaining strong.

What's in a Name?

Ouch! Sue had a nasty fall at work. That's her story and she's sticking to it.

Don demonstrates his version of the accident.

We had some interesting vocabulary discourse today. The word for today, gentle readers, is something we enjoy each morning at Sam's:

• raillery \RAY-luh-ree\, noun:1. Good-humored banter or teasing. 2. An instance of good-humored teasing; a jest.
  For example, I moved from one knot of people to another, surrounded by a kind of envious respect because of Sophie's interest in me, although subjected to a certain mordant raillery from some of this witty company.-- Peter Brooks, World Elsewhere




• ruth, noun :1.compassion for the misery of another 2 : sorrow for one's own faults. So we learned that "ruthful", to be filled with compassion, is indeed a word that we have never heard in conversation. But we have all heard "ruthless", to act without compassion, frequently. This is a sad statement about the human condition.




• This made Don wonder whether "youthless" existed as the opposite of "youthful", but alas, it is not a word - yet. Perhaps if we all start describing Don himself as "youthless", we can get the word accepted into common usage.




• Now this triggered the thought in Bill that his wife has frequently called him "useless", as in "you useless .......", but has never called him " useful". Bill , your challenge for the week is to get your wife to describe you as "useful" at least once.




• Then we discussed that "regardless" and "irregardless" have the same meaning. "Irregardless" originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.




• We also learned middle names: Susan Jean, Jean Ann, Gladys Mae, Patricia Ann, Jo Ann. Gladys said they named thier first daughter, Jacqueline, after Jack, whose real name is actually "Jacques". Jack said his name is pronounced "Jock" and that his middle name is "Strap"! Gladys recalled once being in class at work, and having to get up and say her last name . The assignment was to link her last name to a visual to help others recall her name. She agonized over this since her last name is "Tittsworth" , visuals not needed. The group then speculated whether this was synonymous to "Tittsful" .




• The next word discussed was "woe". a condition of deep suffering from misfortune, affliction, or grief . It turns out that one can be "woeful", but one cannot be "woeless". Use of the word "Tittsful" made Don recall that he had been told "Whoa" on many of his dates, bringing woe to himself. Now I am curious whether the English language contains many more words to describe misery than joy.




• This triggered Bill to remember that he had been told that certain acts may cause blindness, so he did them just until he had to wear glasses.




• Don wondered if "yo" is becoming an accepted word, as in "Yo have a good time", equivalent to "Y'all" as used in the South. While that use of "yo" is not recognized, "yo" is already in the dictionary as used to call attention, to indicate attentiveness, or to express affirmation. Yo!




• This led to Doug noting that when he refs a game (oops, turns out "ref" is recognized as a noun meaning "referee", but not as a verb meaning "to referee"), the kids now say "My bad" to mean "My mistake" or "Sorry". They also say "Psych" to mean "I'm kidding" .




• I asked my middle schooler for the current slang in class, and she reports that kids use the letters for text messaging verbally. Here are some examples: TTYL means Talk To You Later , OMG means Oh my God, BFF means Best Friends Forever, JK means Just Kidding, GTG means Got To Go, and LOL means Laugh Out Loud.



• Yo, everyone, GTG!

Winter Field Trip!

On Paul, Jean, Gladys, and Jack's advice, I overcame my initial instinct and, while cycling back from Sam's to my cave this morning, popped into the Café on the Grove. Holy mackrel, it was gorgeous! Breathtaking really, in comparison to the other buildings at Spring Grove which feel like a cross between a Fellini film and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. No, make that The Twighlight Zone and House on Haunted Hill.

The Café is quaint, with wooden floors and vintage photos lining the enterance, yet spacious and airy with round ballroom style tables and sunlight streaming in from all four directions. No menus were available for posting, as their menu was written a-la-Sam's in chalk on blackboards, but trust me, the selections were reasonably priced and smelled scrumptious.

Saturday hours are 7:00 a.m. until noon. So put on your travelin' shoes folks, and c'mon down to my neck of the woods Saturday January 26. The Sam's Bagel Club is going Cosmopolitan. Don't worry Dimitri, we will all be back Sunday!

P.S. if you make it to Spring Grove but can't find the Café, call me (443-695-7878) – I'll cycle over to you and guide you in like a tugboat.

Weekend Updates

• Patty reported that Charlie has been responsive for brief periods, and that the tube has been removed. He is still at Hopkins, no word on the cause of this latest setback.
• Today we were joined by future politician, Luke, who was receiving political advice from Don. (Sadly, this may doom Luke's career before it even begins). He was advised to keep a notebook to jot down possible slogans, such as "I keep my back against the wall". Luke returns to college this week, where hopefully he will learn useful information.
• Don's grandchildren, Chase and Cheney, visited us. I asked whether the new baby will also have a name beginning with "Ch- ". They are considering Chandler if it is a girl, but don't have any favorite boy names yet.
• Allison joined us for some chocolate milk. We miss seeing her daily now that her new job is located in Towson.
• Remember, anyone can leave a comment by clicking below on "Comment". Type in your comment, you can be anonymous or click on "Nickname" and type in your name. Comment on the comments too!

Don models Laura's gift, elf boxers with hat. Even came with jingle bells. (Laura, what were you thinking?)

How to Eat a Bagel

Many of us have been fascinated by Doug's weight-reducing method of eating bagels. He scoops out the middle of the bagel, then layers in the butter....and after consuming that, he eats the scooped-out middle with butter! Think his original intention was to discard the middle of the bagel, but he is usually too busy talking to throw it out. In fact, he was too busy talking to notice that this video was even being filmed!

Happy New Year 2008

• I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone at Sam's for their gift of friendship during 2007. I look forward to seeing each of you and hearing your stories. It is good for the immune system to laugh, and you always make me laugh! The intelligence, creativity, connections and kindnesses that unite this group of former strangers amazes me. So Happy New Year to each of you! Here's to many new memories and good health in 2008.

• Unfortunately, I learned yesterday that Charlie has had a major setback. He is again in Johns Hopkins, and has fallen into a coma. Tests are still being conducted. Please keep both Charlie and Patty in your prayers.

• When my computer was out of commission, we had an interesting occurence at home. Even though it was December, Harold was out raking leaves, and our Labrador Retriever, Sam, was with him. Sammy is ten years old and always chases squirrels and rabbits, but has never caught anything. On this day, he suddenly began to bark and dashed off into the woods. Several minutes later he came back, proudly wagging his tail, and gingerly holding a...... bagel. I kid you not. He would not allow the bagel to be taken from him and he ate it after parading around the yard with his trophy. Harold calls this the "Ballad of the Wild Bagel". We still don't know from whence it came (we don't keep bagels at home), so it is a pretty good mystery. None of our neighbors complained that their breakfast went missing.

• One of my faithful blog readers noted the many recent photos of Don, and perhaps was feeling left out. I promise to feature anyone on the blog who comes to Sam's in your underwear! This led to a lengthy discussion on what was overwear, underwear, or outerwear. Apparently what you wear next to your skin should be referred to as your underwear, even if it is a Speedo....... so if you wear boxers on top of that, it is transformed into overwear. I have no idea what outerwear is........ maybe the kilt?

• It was great to visit with former Sam's regulars, Gwen and Peggy, who moved to Florida last summer. On their visit, they found out that Sam's waffle iron broke after they left and was never replaced, so they had to settle for bagels. Gwen shared photos of her grandchildren, Jake and Faith. Glad they included us in their busy visiting schedule.

• Doug had promised to share the rockfish that he caught with several of Sam's faithful on Monday. They came with coolers to take home their New Year's Eve dinner, but Doug never showed up. They went home empty-handed, an experience I am sure Doug understands.

Our record number of tables linked so far.

New Year's Eve

A view from above......

Here's a contest......what would you call having a kilt placed over your head..... while being worn by someone else? ("Yucky" has already been submitted.)

Under a kilt, these boxers, under these, a Speedo. We took Don's word about the Speedo. There couldn't be boxers for Martin Luther King Day, could there?

It's "Donner", not "Donder" , you goofs at Bass's Pro Shop. ( "Donner" is the German word for thunder, "Blitzen" the German word for lightning.) Didn't Doug use to work there?

Great to see Gwen and Peggy on a visit from Florida. Cheers!

Boxing Day

Note to Don: December 26th is Boxing Day, commemorating when boxes of food were given to the poor in England and Ireland. Apparently you have confused this with "Boxer's Days". Having been treated to several pairs of Christmas boxers, we are all hoping that you do not own a "Happy New Year" pair of boxers.

Conversion Units (Courtest of Pat R.)



Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi



2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton



1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope



Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond



Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram



Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong



16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling



Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon



1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz



Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoa rsepower



Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line



453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake



1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone



2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles



365.25 days = 1 unicycle



2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds



52 cards = 1 decacards



1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton



1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen



1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche



1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin



10 rations = 1 decoration



100 rations = 1 C-ration



2 monograms = 1 diagram



4 nickels = 1 paradigm



2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

Cheer for Charlie

Charlie is getting his strength and balance back after a nasty fall. He is receiving PT and dialysis at the Randallstown Center off of Liberty Road. A group of us went to sing carols to him. We were so bad he nearly bolted from the room, but we did make him laugh. Visitors and phone calls are welcome (he has his cell phone with him). Patty and his family threw him a delicious holiday party last Sunday, heard he enjoyed the homemade food. Through everything, Charlie keeps his sense of humor and remembers the holiday season. In fact, when he saw us enter his room jingling bells, his first words were, "Jesus Christ!"

Pat, Jack and Gladys with Charlie

Jean, Paul, Sue and Harold with Charlie

Holiday Pictures

Watch out, Santa Don sits on YOUR lap!

The Gang spreads joy (and cream cheese) to all

A Christmas Miracle: Don's stocking moves ever closer to Laura's

Doug treats his son, Scott, to breakfast. Must be Christmas!

Bill and Jean get a "Christmass" surprise.

Andrea tells Santa Don her wish. (However, he came back the next day)

Merry Christmas

John and Don spread Christmas cheer

For those of you who missed it, here is Pat Richardson's original poem. Enjoy!

With Apologies to Willie Shakespeare

With gloomy clouds and darkened sky,
The Winter Solstice doth arrive.
The snow hath dropped,
The wind doth blow,
We hear the bells and Ho, Ho, Ho.

A hearty few will brave the weather,
Embarking on another endeavor.
The bagels beckon, toasty, warm,
They draw us out into the storm.

Eating, drinking, with fervered glee,
We keep each other company.
We know who’s pregnant and who is not,
Our news is current and on the spot.

Some do not hold us so dear,
But we wish you all a happy new year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Cheers

Here ye, esteemed patrons of Sam's (Samians? Samites? Samsters?): whether you celebrate the birth of Jesus, the miracle of the channuka minorah, the solstice signaling brighter days to come, or simply that Don usually starts wearing long pants in January, may the glow within each of our hearts reach far beyond the breakfast table and kindle the best in one another this holiday season.

Going Wireless

Shhh, we are now able to blog live thanks to someone nearby providing an excellent wireless signal in Sam's. We will enjoy it as long as it lasts! Alicia was able to prove her point today by looking up a website.

Welcome back, Don! He reported that the Gulf was boring, too shallow to swim in, and just good for sitting in while reading the paper. His daughters and grandchildren joined them for a hectic three-day visit between very late and very early flights. Don recalled one past Thanksgiving when he threw a roll the length of the table, hitting his sister-in-law in the head. Don's excuse was that she had asked for a roll! However, she left and never came back! Don credited his mother with enforcing a standard of family behavior, noting she she did not tolerate bad behavior and that it was dealt with immediately. He lamented that his wife's family has no enforcer in charge, so dysfunctional behavior occurs. Laura commented that every family has some degree of dysfunction to it.

This discussion left Alicia grateful for her functional family. Alicia put up her first Christmas tree this weekend. She recalled one gathering where all 75 of her extended family were celebrating the day after Thanksgiving. Apparently they were so noisy that their neighbor, Steven Tyler of the rock band Aerosmith, called the police for diturbing the peace. Luckily, Alicia's cousin was on the local police force. So the family just put on an Aerosmith CD and cranked the volume up even higher!

Mike came in with his Dad and confided in Doug that Andrea was his girlfriend. Here is a photo of you two together, Mike, plus a nice photo of you, your Dad, and Doug in black jackets.

Dr. Mike asked us what was our most extravagent purchase. Gladys said it was her grandfather clock. She had wanted one for a long time and even created a needlepoint to hang in its spot. It creates reverence for the past, and something the family associates with visiting Grandma and Grandpa. Dr. Mike said it was his classical guitar; he needed an excellent guitar because he said he didn't play that well! The rest of us are hoping to splurge in the future. Sue would like to bubble under the stars in a Jacuzzi someday.

Jean shared some jokes she heard on the radio.
What do the Ravens and Billy Graham have in common?

They both can make 70,000 people in a stadium stand up and yell "Jesus"!


What do you call 53 men sitting around the TV?


The Ravens watching the Super Bowl.



How do you keep ravens out of your yard?

Put up a goal post.


And on that note, may everyone enjoy the Ravens on Monday night football tomorrow!

Sam's Bagels in Real Time!

Charlie's back! We were so glad to see him drive and make it into Sam's for a bagel. Andrea told him he was still the sexiest man she knows!

Dr. Mike is taking his son snow boarding in West Virginia. Doug went to Lake Placid for his first skiing adventure, and became hooked. Dr. Mike recommends skiing in the west, where the peaks can be 10,000 feet and runs can last a half hour.

Operation Welcome Home 4-6pm Thursday

Submitted from Glenn :)

UPDATE – NEW TIME FOR TOMORROW…As sometimes happens, the time of tomorrow’s flight has been moved back by a couple hours. We are now looking at an arrival between 4:00-6:00 pm. Please arrive no later than 3:30 pm. The volunteer leaders for tomorrow’s flight are Bob and Arlise Cianelli, so please let them know if you will be attending just in case the flight time moves again. Let them know the best number to call you on. Also, if you have not already purchased a food/bottled water donation for tomorrow, don't worry about it. We have enough supplies for tomorrow, b ut will take items if you already purchas ed something that you planned on bringing. We don't want to turn away donations, but we also don't want you to make a trip to the store when we are already covered for tomorrow. Thanks again!

NEXT EVENT…Wednesday, December 5th with arrival by troops in the early afternoon – time to be disclosed closer to day of event

FREE TICKETS THIS WEEKEND...We have been given 20 free tickets to the Ft. Meade Officers' Wives Annual Tour of Homes this Sunday. Tours of about 12 officers homes decorated for Christmas occur between 3:00-7:00 pm. Normally, tickets are $10 each, but the Officers' Wives Club is so grateful for the work of Operation Welcome Home that they have given us these free tickets. They learned about us in the news. We still have some tickets left. If you can attend, please let John Flynn know by responding to this e-mail. Let him know how many tickets you need. Tickets are first-come, first-serve. For those interested, there is also a Craft Fair occurring from 10:00am-5:00pm at the same location. Thanks for all you do to support our troops!


OPERATION WELCOME HOME (MARYLAND)

Date: Thursday, November 29th

Time: Report by 3:30pm (troops are scheduled to arrive between 4:00-6:00pm – times are always subject to change) - Please let us know if you plan to attend so we can make you aware of any other updates on the time; please provide Bob and Arlise Cianelli with your cell phone number (or land line) as they will use the old-fashioned phone tree should there be any changes. Their contact information is below.

Parking: You have three options: (1) park in the hourly parking lot (cost is free for first ½ hour and $2 every ½ hour after that); (2) park in a private lot
($6.85 for daily parking with coupon at http://www.econoparkexpress.com/ or $6.90 for daily parking at http://www.airportfastpark.com/main/baltimore.aspx)
or (3) perhaps the easiest way is to drop off your guests at the airport (if you are carpooling) and park at the free parking lot for the light rail and ride it
to the airport - it drops you off right at the international terminal where our event is ($3.20 roundtrip or $1.10 roundtrip for seniors – more info and light
rail schedule at http://www.mtamaryland.com/services/lightrail/schedule/lightrail.pdf). If there are any developments on free parking, we wi ll let you know.

Gate: Come to BWI - International Flights/Lower Level at Customs

What to Bring: Wear something patriotic and feel free to bring handmade
signs welcoming our troops home and thanking them for their service. Please also keep bringing those thank you cards from children. Do not worry about bringing any food/bottled water donations for the goodie bags tomorrow.&a mp;n bsp; We have plenty of supplies for the bags. If you have already purchased items for the goodie bags, feel free to bring them. If you have not yet gotten anything, do not worry about it. We have a good supply on hand for the troops for tomorrow.

Call Bob and Arlise Cianelli: Feel free to e-mail Bob and Arlise at bobcianelli@comcast.net or if you are coming at the last minute, call them on their cell phone at (410) 299-0886. Again, please let them know if you intend to go and provide them with your cell phone number (or land line). They will be sure
to keep you looped in on any updates, but they cannot do that if they don't know you're coming.

Sincerely,

John Flynn and Kathy Thorp
Co-Chairs