Friday, March 12, 2010

Stimulus Money Suggestions from John S.


Sometime this year, we taxpayers will probably again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by

Using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by Spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will Go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard Sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help

The Great Catonsville Cow Flop 2010

Type: Causes - Fundraiser

Date: Sunday, April 11, 2010

Time: 2:00pm - 5:00pm

Location: Christian Temple

Street: 5820 Edmondson Ave

City/Town: Catonsville, MD  21228

On April 11, 2010 The Friends of Troop 306 is putting on
The Great Catonsville Cow Flop 2010
The event is taking place at Christian Temple on Edmondson Ave in Catonsville. The event is a fundraiser for the Boy Scout's High Adventure trip to Northern Tier taking place in June.

What happens is people purchase a 1x1 square foot “plot” and there are 2000 of these plots sold

On the day of the event a newly fed cow is brought to the field and is allowed to roam around until it poops……………… yes I am 100% serious!

Anyway, if it poops on your plot you win $1500. There will be celebrity judges making the final call.

Tickets are being sold for $10 each. Tickets can be purchased from Troop 306 parents. Also, tickets will be sold at the Catonsville 7-11 on Frederick Road (outside the Beltway) on March 20 and at the 7-11 on Edmondson Ave (the Junction) on March 27.

Tell all of your friends!!!! It's going to be a fun day!!!!

Get your tickets from Jeff S........and yes, this is another blog post full of BS!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Bill called to say that his Dad's health has taken a turn for the worse. He and his two brothers are leaving this evening to drive down to Florida  to be with him.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to Bill and his family. Hope your trip is safe.

Bill also wanted to remind everyone that his wife, Janice, has $5 tickets for the all-you-can-eat benefit breakfast at Applebee's. It will be held this Saturday from 8-10 am, proceeds go to the Ravens Roost. You can email me if you need Janice's phone number.

I am attending a class this week, so I hope to see everyone on Sunday.  Stay well!

And I corrected an error.....Jeff plunged into the Atlantic, not the Bay.  Brrrr either way, Jeff! Thanks for your contribution to the Special Olympics program.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Welcome Back, Gladys!

Glenn can get tickets for CCBC's Women's Expo this weekend. You can check out the agenda at  (Hey Glenn, I read this link as "women sexpo md"...... I blame too many breakfasts with Donnie!) Tickets benefit Glenn's fundraising as well.

Also this weekend, the Flapjack Fundraiser Breakfast will be held from 8-10 am at Applebee's, 6505 Baltimore National Pike. A $5 donation is requested and all benefits go to Ravens Roost #88. Janice, Bill T's wife, is a member.

Alicia is spending the week sailing around the Bahamas with her family. Sounds great, send pictures!

Jeff was snowed out from the Deep Creek Lake Polar Bear Plunge, but he plunged anyway  in the  Atlantic Ocean to raise money for the Special Olympics.

Glenn reminds us of  Baltimore County's hazardous waste collection day, April 11, 2010. 

Good luck to Pat R. who is in Fort Lauderdale, FL, considering a condo purchase.