Saturday, May 17, 2008

Columbia College of Chicago 2008 Graduation

I promised to post photos of Katelyn's graduation here for family and friends.
So please indulge a proud Mom!

In Grant Park

The fun pose with Casey

The artsy pose

The classic pose

On the way to a tassle for honors

After the ceremony with Marie and Danielle

Katelyn and friends after dinner

Wih thanks to Mary Tyler More

Pun Times

Submitted by Pat R.
Here are the 10 first place winners in an International Pun Contest:
  • 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. Theflight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only onecarrion allowed per passenger."
  • 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!
  • 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire inthe craft. Unsurprisingly it immediately sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
  • 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
  • 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
  • 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
  • 7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
  • 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so theyopened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent Florist friars.
  • 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
  • And finally: 10. There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

How To Enjoy A Concert

Sarah performed in 2 concerts this week at Arbutus Middle School. All of the groups did great! But some of the show was not on stage but in the audience next to me. This little guy's brothers were singing and he was really supporting them. A mini-lesson on how to enjoy a concert and one's life!

It Has Finally Happened

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Harold and I were driving along I-83 and I saw a dead chicken on the side of the road, its little claws sticking up toward the sky. Now I have sadly observed other types of "road kill", but this was my first chicken. I began to wonder how it had wandered there, which led to the age-old question above. Here are some possible answers:

  • BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

  • JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
  • HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...

  • DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
  • OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

  • GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
  • COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

  • ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

  • JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

  • NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

  • PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

  • MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

  • DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

  • ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

  • JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
  • GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

  • BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

  • ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

  • JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

  • BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% mailto:cra...#@&&%5E%28C%25> ......... reboot.

  • ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

  • BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

  • AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

  • COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

  • DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

  • AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.=============

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

Catonsville resident Andrew Broadwater performs in a Mother's Day recital at St. Peter's Church. Andrew is currently attending the Peabody Institute.

  • Alicia reported that Sam's tradition continues, although she combined having someone fall into the drink with a rescue. When sailing this week, she got to yell "man overboard #@*^" and singlehandedly pulled her friend from the harbor back into the sailboat. He was OK (other than an atomic wedgie), but Alicia ached all over the next day. So if any of Sam's folks are headed for the water, beware.....these things can happen in threes.

  • Bill T. was sporting his newly inked dragon tattoo on his right arm. He had protected it from his coat by rubbing diaper rash ointment on it, then wrapping it in plastic wrap. He explained how he goes by Bill everywhere except at work, where he is known by his legal first name, George. Said it causes some confusion when the work people call his house, ask for George, and hear someone yell, "Bill, it's for you!".

  • Hope everyone enjoyed Mother's Day. Stay dry in the monsoon-like weather today!