Saturday, December 20, 2008

Which is Why They Call It Crack

(Cited from Dave Barry's blog at

Feds: Teen tried to smuggle heroin taped to butt
Arizona Daily Star
Tucson, Arizona Published: 12.18.2008

A Mexican national was indicted Wednesday on federal charges of heroin possession with the intent to distribute.

Julio Cesar Montiel-Posada, 18, was caught Nov. 30 trying to pass through the Deconcini Port of Entry in Nogales with approximately 1.28 kilograms of heroin — nearly 3 pounds — taped to his buttocks, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court.

Montiel-Posada told customs officials he was going to be paid $900 to cross into the United States with the heroin and then he would be contacted with further instructions.
Montiel is set to be arraigned Dec. 31. If convicted he would face a minimum of 10 years in prison.

Miracle on 34th Street, Hon

  • Happy Belated Birthday to Jeff!
  • Glenn has been sporting "It's OK to say Merry Christmas" shirt and handing out buttons. Mr. Popularity is up to 65 friends on Facebook! To join, just go to, but be careful to set your privacy filters so you can screen out undesirables like us at Sam's.
  • Interesting discussion today. Turns out that men viewed the adjective "prissy" as a compliment (in their eyes meaning neat, elegant, girlish), while all the women had a negative view of the word (more along the lines of "stuck up"). They shortened the nickname "Prissy Patty" to "PP", which seemed even worse. The dictionary definition of "prissy" is "overly prim and precise: finicky". Score Women 1, Men 0.
  • Jean and Paul, not being frustrated enough with FIOS, have now purchased a BluRay player. They are hoping for company to stop by and install it for them!
  • Sue, Dorothy and Pat enjoyed the Holiday Christmas Spectacular at the Meyerhoff, having won free tickets. Performances by the symphony orchestra, Sandy Patty, and the African Children's Choir were wonderful. See it through the 23rd.
  • Don't miss the chance to drive downtown to see the Hampden Christmas lights (700 block of 34th St., between Keswick Rd. and Chestnut St.), park nearby and walk. The street is open to cars, but traffic (on 34th St. and leading up to it) moves extremely slowly. Plus pedestrians, dazed by the holiday lights, make navigating tricky.
Hampden lights

The hubcap tree

The North Pole

The Mom song

(from Pat R. Thanks)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Victoria's Secret Trip

  • This morning, Scott was describing a delicious Attman's corned beef sandwich to Jean. In his state of rapture, he called Jean, "Dude", which made me laugh and registered in my mind as a first.
  • I invited Glenn to join Facebook, and he has racked up more virtual friends in 40 hours than most people attract in a year! For those of you not on Facebook, I will share Glenn's personal info as he listed it. "Political views: Yes Religious views: Yes." Now you know.
  • Gladys and Jack hosted a holiday dinner for their family on Saturday at the Elkridge Furnace Inn and declared it a success.
Here are some pics of last week's shopping spree to Victoria's Secret. If this becomes a new career of Don's (tour guide to the lingerie store), maybe he can offer Jack a job. I hear that Jack is looking for work with good benefits. Thanks to Don for sending the photos.
Don points out the new purchase.

Alonyah and Patty

Don in his natural habitat. Could he loook any happier?
(From John S, some simple math)
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys there, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars!

They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK !!!! It doesn't get much clearer than this.................

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Straight Dope

Saw Glenn this morning and he told me he lost a bundle of money on last night's Ravens game, the game lost in the last thirty seconds. (I blame myself for turning on the TV in the last quarter, think I may be bad luck.) I promise not to watch next week. He strung me along until he told me it was just a $5 bet that he didn't even have to honor. So glad to have the old pain-in-the-butt Glenn back! Now I don't feel bad that Scott told Glenn he was as ugly as ever because he was tired of hearing others tell Glenn he looked good.

Check out the Straight Dope by Cecil Adams, fighting ignorance since 1973 (it's taken longer than they thought). They tackle a lot of very interesting questions. Below is the list of questions that they have refused to answer.

Questions We Refuse to Answer
OK, so we did the "why do we park in the driveway and drive in the parkway" thing. That doesn't mean we're going to answer every crackbrain question some comedian dreams up. In particular, if you ask one of the following, we'll track you down and do things so bad they scare even us.

Why do we need a hot water heater? If it's hot it doesn't need to be heated.
How can we have jumbo shrimp?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Why does quicksand work slowly?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why, when lights are out, they are invisible, but when the stars are out, they are visible?
Why do we call them apartments when they are all together?
If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?
Why does Denny's have locks on the door if it's open 24 hours?
Why do ships carry cargoes and cars carry shipments?
When will a building actually become a built?

Send your questions for Cecil Adams to:

And here is something I have been wondering about......why do some nouns become accepted as verbs, and others never do? For instance, I can say that I am blogging and emailing........but I can't say that I am "diarying" or "lettering". I can Xerox a paper on the Xerox and fax a paper on the fax, but I can't scale a paper on a scale. I microwave food in the microwave , but I don't oven food in the oven. And while I do shower in the shower, I can't bath in the bath, I have to take a bath. Some verbs are also nouns, most are not. So while this may bore you and also be a bore, it can't annoy you and be an annoy.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

What Do Kids Think of Beer?

(from John S.....thanks!)

Sue-----I really enjoyed talking to Glenn this morning about the special on ESPN last night regarding the Baltimore Colts vs. NY Giants championship game in 1958 which is coming up on its 50th anniversary. It has been dubbed, "The Greatest Game Ever Played" and I was lucky enough to have been in attendance for that game. It is the 1st time I have seen Glenn since he became sick.-------John

A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.'--Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. '--Mellanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'--Grady, 7 years old

''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'--Shirley, 7 years old

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'--Jack, 7 years old

Baltimore County All Honors Concert

Hannah is back from college. Welcome home!

  • Yesterday we enjoyed the Baltimore County All Honors Concert. Sarah and all the kids did a great job! The concert will be broadcast in January over the Baltimore County educational channel.
  • Dr. Mike was a no-show today. Yesterday he brought gifts of candles and scarves to everyone at Sam's. Pat and Patty brought gifts for Mike, but he didn't show this morning. That sparked an impromptu mission to track down Dr. Mike at Spring Grove. We found him thanks to his trusty bicycle parked outside.
  • Don reported that the shopping trip to Victoria's Secrets was a success. Unfortunately, Don was the only one modeling underwear at Sam's this morning. He has enough pairs of holiday boxers to wear them for two weekends.
Baltimore County Middle School All Honors Orchestra Concert program
Dr. Mike reads his poem from Pat in the lobby at Spring Grove

Dr, Mike opens his gifts...and immediately knows which one is from Don