Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Idiot Sightings

From our friend, John S.

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told usthat one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'enoughmotoron the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largestone Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head andsaid, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 waslarger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not... Four is larger than two..."
We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gavethe clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her aquarter. She said, "You gave me too much money. " I said, "Yes I know,but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed andwent to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, andhe handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot dothat kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call thelocal township administrative office to request the removal of the DEERCROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit bycars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to becrossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked theperson behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employeeasked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. Iwas crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. Sheasked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signalsblind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What onearth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as shewas leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commentedcheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not anotherword was spoken. We all just looked at each other with thatdeer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itselfand for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system wouldnot turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up ourcar, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the servicedepartment and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driverside door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively triedthe door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announcedto the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got thatside.

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had theHawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I wasparking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drovefrom Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the
Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... they REPRODUCE.....and they vote!