Thursday, January 15, 2009
Update from Glenn
For Word Lovers Everywhere
Thought you might be able to use thisl
So far I have had a very uneventful trip, excluding driving 95 in Georgia. That road has got be the worst in the country. I will probably have to replace my windshield when I get home.
Had a great visit with the Edwards Family in Burgaw, NC. Burgaw reminds me very much of Mayberry, USA, Then on to Bueaufort, South Carolina. It has been about 39 years since I lived there. It really is beautiful. The antebellum homes on the bay have been refurbished and tourism has increased. The Marine Corps Air Station is still there and busier than ever, but it does not dominate the economy as it once did. I have a few post card pictures to show when I get home. Next stop....Sunrise, Florida. Sun Rise is not laid back like other places in Florida. The drivers are wild and remind me of New York City. Turns out most of the people living in the area have retired from New York. My friend Glenda has a small condo in the area. This is a large complex and units are now selling for $28,000. They have lost half of their value.
I was very glad to hear about Glen. Doug needs therapy. I saw his last picture.
Happy hour calls. Will be in touch.
Pat
Subject: FW: For Those Who Love Words
1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
12. Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
14 . Without geometry, life is pointless.
15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
18. What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
19. A backwards poet writes inverse.
20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
21. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.
26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.<>29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.
30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .
32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Serenity
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing About being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, ' For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference
Glenn Kicks Cancer's Butt, Ravens Thrash Titans
Jack even dyed his mohawk purple. He has to keep it that way through the Superbowl.