Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Made You Laugh

Thanks to Harold's sister, Beth, for this one!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(folks, you're gonna luv this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Happy Birthday, Don!

Don turns 65 at midnight and is looking forward to collecting his senior benefits. He was spending today with his daughter, driving to one of his favorite spots, the dump. This is the point where Bill T. always says, "What did the Lone Ranger say to Tonto when he went to the dump?"
*To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump" sung to the Lone Ranger's theme song.

Happy Birthday, Don, you are an original.

The following was written by Loretta Laroche (see favorite sites on the right). I always enjoy her positive outlook on life and thought I'd share it here as we enter the autumn season.

The Fabulous Fall Refresh

The fall is my favorite time of year. My body is shedding the bloat from the summer humidity due to the crisper air, and my thoughts have turned towards planting bulbs and making fires in my fireplace.

The landscape is changing bringing us its’ autumn palette of burnt orange, sienna, and rust, and it’s time to get out the bulky sweaters and afghans. Not everyone revels in the changing seasons, but I have always enjoyed the possibilities that each season brings.

As the leaves wither and drop off, and the days become shorter, we should look within ourselves and see what changes we might want to make.

Could this be the time to shed some behaviors that no longer serve you? Perhaps the cooler weather and the darker days will prod you into becoming more introspective.

Could this be a time when you cozy up in your favorite chair, with a wonderful book and a great cup of tea? Maybe as nature begins to silence its growth you could begin to renew yours by meditating, or simply allowing yourself to become more in tune with silence.

How about doing some cooking? Now that the doors are closed more often you have the opportunity to fill the house with wonderful aromas.

Who doesn’t like to walk into a home that smells like a great big pot of chicken soup or an apple pie that is baking away just waiting for you to take that first bite?

Spend some time writing to friends or relatives instead of calling or e-mailing, or consider starting a joy journal. Get physical by raking leaves in your yard or someone else’s, or take a fabulous hike alone or with a group of friends.

There are so many options available to us as we transition through the year. Take advantage of them and embrace the changes. If you don’t you could end up becoming your own groundhog day.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Not Just a Spoonful of Sugar

I had several medical appointments today. While I am fine, I will be giving up caffeine and soda and foods made with white flour. Kind of zapped my motivation for hanging out in a bagel shop so often! During that seemingly endless time spent waiting on the exam table for the doctor, I found an article about laughter being the best medicine for one's health. The researchers found that even ANTICIPATING that something would be funny reduced levels of three stress hormones:
  • Cortisol, a major stress hormone, dipped 39%
  • Adrenaline, also known as epinephrine, dropped 70%
  • Dopac, a chemical related to the feel-good chemical dopamine, dropped 38%

So now I still have a reason to stop by and laugh. It's good for my health! And if you are feeling stressed, simply think about these good things......

  • Bill T's long list of Snapple trivia questions, thrown into any conversation whether related or not..... do you know how many vocal cords a cat has?
  • Doug's torn pants or shaving-creamed ears or lost glasses/wallet/keys.
  • Gladys and Jack in their rocking chairs
  • Bill W's jokes, jokes, jokes
  • Laura's new tricked-out Honda
  • Dr. Mike's forays into Internet dating
  • Don's boxers and kilts and Speedos, oh my!
  • Alicia's flowers from her new beau
  • Allison's new apartment
  • Jean and Paul's trip to Lexington, KY
  • Bill S's trip to Gatlinburg, TN
  • Patty wanting to smack Doug and Alicia offering to hold him for her!
  • Pat enjoying her renovated home
  • Lois and Gene winning big money at Delaware Downs
  • Glenn in his LAST WEEK of treatment, he's in the home stretch! Come back soon. It will be good for your recovery to laugh with us. We really do miss you.