Barenaked Ladies

Can't deny I get a kick out of all these little balloons, which represent recent readers. New readers in London, UK; Bridgeport, CN; Torino, Italy; Manhattan, NY; and Erie, PA. I get all of these fabulous web statistics from a free service, StatCounter, at http://www.statcounter.com/. Just think what I could find out if I pay for additional info!

(Just think what websites that DO pay to know about their readers....know about you already. )

Barenaked Ladies, shown above for those who don't know, is a popular band. (Check them out at http://www.bnlmusic.com/default2.asp) They drew crowds before anyone knew their music because the marquis sign would read "Appearing Tonight - Barenaked Ladies". I realize I've used the same tactic by labeling posts with titles like "Big Boobs" to lure in unsuspecting readers from all over the world. Truth is, it worked, as you can see from our blog's map.

More Bad Baby Names

I stumbled upon some more great names on this witty Cajun blog - see the March 16th entry. Check it out at / http://www.mostlycajun.com/wordpress/

Sam's Bagels had a nice comment from author, Matthew Rayback . (By the way, Matthew, congratulations on your new son, very nicely named "Eli ") Matthew and his co-author, Michael Sherrod, have published "Bad Baby Names" at the reasonable price of $9.95. For those of you who don't already know, Dimitri and his wife are expecting a baby in May. Maybe the above book would make a nice shower gift from the bagel bunch? Check out Matthew's humorous and well-written blog at www.badbabynames.net. Below is a sample of one of his blog entries:


Unique? I Think Not
So, here’s an article from an Alberta newspaper about naming trends in Alberta over 2007. A substantial part of the article discusses a variety of “unique” names that popped up over the course of the year. Well, as any good editor will tell you, the word “unique” doesn’t mean “uncommon.” It means “one-of-a-kind.” So I decided to delve into the census records at Ancestry.com to see how many of these names actually were unique. Not surprisingly, almost none of them. Now for you purists, I didn’t look at every single instance of these names, so these numbers are more like broad strokes (okay, for you pure purists, we’ll say broad broad strokes :)). Also, it’s really hard to search for names by gender, so there may be some crossover there too. Either way, unique is not in the eye of the beholder. Take a look (the numbers in brackets are the number of hits in the Ancestry.com census database):

“Among the most interesting names for girls in 2007 were Princess [3,293], Psalms [no Psalms, but 11 Psalm], Rhapsody [4], Oakley [14,779], Kalifornia [none with a K], God’s [9 Gods (none with the apostrophe) and 491 God], Morning Star [3], Evening [116], Elektra [10], Creedance [unique!], Cassiopeia [1], Breaze [2], Blessing [495], Brazil [834], Cerenity [none with a C, 8 with an S], Chaos [28] and Raenbow-Roze [unique! sort of, see below]…

“There was no shortage of uncommon names for little boys in 2007 either. Topping the list is an Adonis [1,789], Blue-Quill [unique!], Corny [267], Felony [11], Furious [7], Geronimo [5,993], Gretzky [unique!], Hinton [5,862], Jackpine [8], Jesus [101, 382, though I’m sure a lot of these are Jesús], Kajun [unique!], Ivy [of course there were a lot of girls named this, but as I scanned the 159,763 entries, I did find a lot of men with this name too], Little [49,875], Maxxamillion [52 with one X], Milwaukee [11], Obsidian-Angel [unique! though there are 60,410 Angels], Rainbow [749], Salmon [8,689], Slim [1,671], Stylez [1], Tao [335] and Zero [896]. There were also three Blazes [723]….”
Unique my eye.

Urban Legends

Good news about Scott. He had surgery on Monday (Scott has been troubled by a sore tongue since on vacation last August). The surgeon was able to remove a sliver of glass from his tongue, so hopefully Scott will be cured. Scott said his anesthesiologist was funny and helped him relax. The last thing Scott remembered was seeing the guy reading some papers and asking the nurse how to do this type of procedure since it was his first time!

Scott complained that he has been very bored on his liquid diet. He finally ate macaroni and cheese for one meal, meat loaf with mashed potatoes for another, and brought toaster waffles to Sam's. We told him he looked like he had lost a lot of weight! (But honestly, since the surgery was Monday afternoon, and this is only Wednesday morning, and he's had three meals in the meantime, how many meals were liquid?). Dimitri asked me to write that maybe now Scott will stop eating at Panera Bread!

You must get many of those e-mails (and I don't just mean offers of "how to increase my manhood" or "how to claim my award" , although I get plenty of those too). I mean those "forwarded, forwarded, forwarded" cute messages that at first glance are sent in friendship. They seem to wish you health and happiness and good luck. Then you get to the last line and discover that if you don't forward it immediately to more people and back to the sender, you are threatened with bad luck and hard times. I like to live dangerously, so I never pass them along. It seems Pat R. agrees with me; she submitted the picture below.

Now the other type of e-mail that I get frequently contains warnings of imminent danger to myself and my loved ones. Again, on the surface they seem helpful and to have my best interest at heart.....but then they always end with "This is one of those e-mails that if you don't send it, rest assured someone on your list will suffer for not reading it." Ah, the gift of perpetual guilt!

I just got one today stating that my plug-in air freshener could burn my house down. So I checked it at out http://urbanlegends.about.com/ and learned that this is false. This site researches e-mail rumors and myths and posts whether they are true or false. So now you can check those e-mails out for yourself before you decide to pass them along....you know you can't always believe what you read.

Just for fun, here are the latest stories circulating as e-mails. Check it out and see which - if any- are true at http://urbanlegends.about.com/
The Urban Legends Top 25 most popular topics of the past week
Week Ending: 03/16/08

1. Is Barack Obama a Muslim?
2. Amazing Tsunami Picture
3. Hercules, World's Biggest Dog (Photo)
4. 'Do Not Call' List for Cell Phones?
5. 'POSTCARD' Virus Hoax
6. Jamie Lee Curtis - Hermaphrodite?
7. Bill Gates Is Giving Away His Fortune
8. St. Patrick's Day History & Folklore
9. Glade Plug-In Air Fresheners Fire Hazard?
10. Breast Infestation (Photo / Video)
11. John Cleese Letter to the U.S.A.
12. The Urban Legends Slideshow
13. World's Tallest Woman (Photos)
14. Mr. Rogers Was a Marine Sniper / Navy Seal
15. Richard Gere and the Gerbil
16. MasterCard Wedding
17. Live Worm Removed from Patient's Eye (Photos)
18. Did Nostradamus Predict the 9/11 Attacks?
19. Camel Spiders in Iraq (Photo)
20. Half-Human, Half-Animal? (Photo)
21. Pit Bull vs. Porcupine (Photos)
22. 'Creepy Gnome' Video
23. 'Eye of God' in Outer Space (Photo)
24. Reverse PIN # to Signal Police at ATM?
25. Shark Attacks Helicopter (Photo)

New Readers

Welcome new blog readers in:

Kalispell, Montana

Liberal, Kansas

Lubbock, Texas

Provo, Utah (at Brigham Young University)

Germantown, MD

Atlanta, Georgia

Whittier, CA

Parkville, MD

Huntingdon, England

Orem, Utah

Bored at Work

Things are pretty slow here today...

I'm bored :v(

Yawn ;<>

Ooh, there's that hot office girl passing through :u)

She's coming to flirt with me :uD

Wait, she's not?...darn {:-[

Here comes my boss 8~()

...who seems to have a new hairdo =8~()

...but also has food on her cheek and I can't tell her =8~*()

Sometimes she makes me so mad I could scream }:-[]

Better take a cig break ;>i

Who Is It?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Hope everyone celebrated the wearing of the green!

Paul and the "Cohan" family

Don's back to claim his favorite seat.

Glad to see Allison back!

Bosco and Sugar in their holiday duds

Bad Baby Names

(Submitted by Tom, our Las Vegas reader)

Be glad that all of our parents did not "lumber us" with some of these monikers. Ha! Ha! (www.ancestry.com). Ancestry.com shares the silliest, craziest and downright most humiliating baby names.

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names. In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau. Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

New Comment on Baltimore Memories Post

This comment was posted today on our Baltimore memories post. I copied it here so you wouldn't miss reading it.


Anonymous said...
Hi all my hons I,like you have the amazing memories of crab? charm city. First let me tell you that I am the great grand daughter of Caroline Hecht. As I search my ancestry on line ,I feel she was the black sheep of the Hecht family,no not by a long shot. My great uncles may have known their business but let us remember from where old Samuel came,walking the streets selling wares off his back but Carrie(Caroline) a free spirit knew adventure. Adventure to the point of going to the carnival and volunteering to climb in the basket letting the man holding the swords hush the crowd with his magic. Applause for the swordsman and a standing ovation for the little jewish woman , my great grandmother ascending from the basket, taking a bow or two.

I wouldn't be surprised, as she grew in all her adventure,or as some called it craziness, she had the nerve to marry a gentile. OOOOUUUUYYYAAAYYY! History has it that she was disowned from the Hecht family, wiped clean from the slate. Where is Carrie today, Baltimore researchers??????????? Oh, by the way I paint screens and when I can I consume Tastycakes!!!!!!!!

Find The Man

Remember you can double-click on any picture to enlarge it!

(Submitted by Jean)

THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN AMONG THE COFFEE BEANS:

This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious.

Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, Why didn't I see him immediately?

Read below......

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.

If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally.

If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.

If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

And, yes, the man is really there!!! Be Honest!!

Come on, Sam's Bagels guys, you drink a lot of coffee. This should be easy!

Geocaching

Sarah, Sue and Jim show off Sarah's first cache prize, a key ring

Sarah and Jim are somewhere in Arbutus. Thanks for taking us, Jim!

What is Geocaching? You pronounce it Geo-cashing, like cashing a check. Geocaching is an entertaining adventure game for gps users. Participating in a cache hunt is a good way to take advantage of the wonderful features and capability of a gps unit. The basic idea is to have individuals and organizations set up caches all over the world and share the locations of these caches on the internet. GPS users can then use the location coordinates to find the caches. Once found, a cache may provide the visitor with a wide variety of rewards. All the visitor is asked to do is if they get something they should try to leave something for the cache.


Yesrterday and today, my friend Jim (with his gps unit and car), Sarah and I found three caches in the Arbutus area. Although the "treasures" are trinkets like keychains and small toys, it really is exciting when you finally find the hidden container. Some hunts require you to hike in the woods, some are in urban settings, and some require driving from location to location where you gather new clues. Cache containers can be thermoses, lock boxes, ammo boxes, Tupperware boxes, even tiny boxes. Hunters can log in their caches and keep track of their locations. For more information, check out the website at http://www.geocaching.com/. You'll be amazed at how many caches are hidden in and around "Music City".

What's Going On In Catonsville Blog

Hi everybody,
Craig's blog highlights recent developments in Catonsville. His blog also offers many links to local businesses. He recently gave Sam's Bagels a nice "shout out". You should check out his excellent blog at http://whatsgoingoncatonsville.blogspot.com/.

And for those who are interested in blog statistics, we had new readers last week from Punjab, India; Berlin, Germany; Vancouver, Canada; San Jose, CA; Gaithersburg, MD and Houston, TX.

The Bagel Bunch After Dark

Janice and Bill, our hostess and host, at The Salsa Grill. Thanks for the chips!

Jay, the owner and pastry chef, shows off the humongous desserts

John and Eileen dress for the season

The ribs - declared the best!

The crabcake platter- yummo!

Gladys and Jack

The salsa crowd - thanks for sharing with us.

The salsa crowd and the bagel bunch

Jack, John and Eileen

We had a delicious dinner (the portions were big enough for several meals!) and laughter as always. So many funny conversations occurred that I can't remember them all! Eileen introduced herself to Bill in the beginning of the night by pantomining her name, "I lean". During the meal, Bill told how his wife has called him "a--hole" so much he responds to that name if he hears it in the street. When we were leaving, Bill came over and said "Good night, Eileen" and pantomined her name. Eileen responded by saying "Goodnight, a--hole!" and pantomining with her backside. It was hilarious because it was so unexpected.

We missed Jean and Paul. Jean has the sore throat/cough/stuffy head version of the flu. Feel better soon!

AGELESS ONE LINERS. WIT AND OBSERVATIONS

(Submitted by Pat)

• "If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."~~ Mark Twain
• Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. ~~Mark Twain
• I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.~~Winston Churchill
• A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.~~George Bernard Shaw
• A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.~~-G Gordon Liddy
• Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.~~James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
• Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.~~-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
• Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.~~-P. J. O'Rourke,
• Civil Libertarian Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.~~-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
• Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. ~~Ronald Reagan (1986)
• If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! ~~P. J. O'Rourke
• In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.~~Voltaire (1764)
• Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!~~Pericles (430 B. C.)
• No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.~~Mark Twain (1866)
• Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it.~~Unknown
• The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.~~Ronald Reagan
• The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.~~Winston Churchill
• The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.~~Mark Twain
• The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. ~~Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
• There is no distinctly Native American criminal class... save Congress.~~Mark Twain
• What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.~~Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)
• A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.~~Thomas Jefferson

Steve, Sam, Jack and Glenn

• Steve Whalen and Sam Moxley stopped by to have breakfast and talk business.
• Sam asked why I had started the blog and Glenn answered, "Boredom". (Glenn said boredom is the reason behind many life activities, including marriage). But is he right? Maybe. I thought I had started the blog as an exercise in learning how to blog, to add features, etc. because I planned to use a blog to get info and pictures to my families at work. But I am having way too much fun and ......I still haven't started my work blog yet. Is samsbagels a waste of time? Probably, this is all trivial stuff. Certainly can be an excuse for avoiding more mundane tasks. But as a time waster is it different than many other past times or hobbies?
• Dana led the discussion on "Why Lawyers are the Most Useless Profession"
• Will there be green bagels for St. Patrick's day? Folks have been searching the Internet.

Who Are You?

The "Dumb Ass" Story

Doug played a joke on Jeff a while back. He took a picture of his own naked backside (and now I am wondering if this was on a self- timer or was there a mystery photographer?). He programmed this picture into Jeff's phone under the name, "Dumb Ass" along with Doug's phone number. Poor Jeff got a surprise later when Doug phoned him and that picture popped up. Maybe the joke was on Doug, because Jeff showed several of us that photo of Doug's ass, still saved on his cell phone. Gladys had just remarked how well her cataract surgery went this week and that she could now see clearly! However, I observed that Gladys couldn't finish her bagel after this sight.

In lieu of the actual photo, I offer the following.......and you should be grateful.

(Submitted by Peggy, former Sam's regular, now Florida resident)

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(

Well, how about some " BUTT ICONS?" Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

( _?_) Dumb Ass

Ashley Alexandra Dupre

Hi everyone, what a hectic week! I am looking forward to dinner tomorrow night at the Salsa Grill. Bill said 6:30 would be better than 6 to allow folks to get there after work. I love to check the map of the blog's readers, and I'd like to welcome readers in the cities below. Most intriguingly, a reader in London, England logged in just to watch the video of Doug eating a bagel!

Just as I am tracking blog readers, Jeff reported that Rosa's boss asked about our blog. Turns out he is notified everytime Howard Bank is mentioned online. There was Sam's listed along with the Daily Record, and Rosa had to explain the co0nnection. You really aren't home alone with your computer, Big Brother IS watching......

Could Ashley Alexandra Dupre be our newest blog reader in New York? Ashley (aka Kristen) became famous overnight due to her liasons with Client # 9 (aka the luv gov). Apparently someone is already marketing shirts and boxers labeled "I'm Client #8". Don may have already ordered his pair! (Don, we have missed you and were glad to hear from you. Welcome back!)

London, UK

San Jose, CA

Ashburn, VA

Savage, MD

Portland, OR

Highlands, NJ

Dinner at Salsa Grill This Friday!

Sarah has perfected the art of turning a styrofoam cup inside-out without tearing it. Here she is showing her cup being used as a cream cheese holder. It's not that easy, as Doug learned.

(Submitted by John)

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

Don't forget. we are having dinner at the Salsa Grill this Friday, March 14th at 6 pm. Hope you can join us!

More Congratulations!

Many of Sam's customers may also be regulars at Sea Hut across the street. When Harold and I were first married, we ate lunch there every Saturday. It was our first outing with each new baby. In fact, I have known Jean since before any of my children were born. Harold and I were honored to attend her wedding last evening. As you can see, Jean was a beautiful bride and the ceremony was lovely. I thought you would enjoy these photos.

Jran and Kevin

The ceremony

The lovely flowers (one vase tipped during the ceremony and Jim caught it in time!)

Jim escorts Jean down the aisle

The Family

Parents of the bride, Sue and Jim