Happy Birthday, Pat!

Another reason to celebrate! Sam's folks were happy to celebrate Pat's birthday and to see the beautiful addition to her home. Everyone enjoyed good food and company. Hope you celebrate many more, and thanks for the kind invitation!

Frederick Road Fridays

The Greater Catonsville Chamber of Commerce will be hosting a series of outdoor events this summer. These free events are called Frederick Road Fridays and will kick off Friday June 13, 2008 from 5:30pm- 7:30pm at Egges Lane and Frederick Rd. (Next door to the Santa House).

There will be live musical entertainment and fun for the entire family.The retail shops along Frederick Rd have been asked stay open later on these evenings and have promotions, such as sidewalk sales. Some of the local restaurants will be offering specials on these evenings, so plan on staying around after the music stops! Jennings will be hosting the "BEER GARDEN"

Frederick Road Fridays - 2008 Schedule
Friday June 13, 2008 5:30 -7:30 pm"The Al Reisinger Band” (featuring Lynn Alonso)Band members: (Dr.) Al Reisinger (mandolin and lead guitar); Jeff Pecore (guitar); (Dr.) Lynn Alonso (vocals and guitar)

June 27 -Automatic Slim
July 11 –Blue Streak

Congratulations!

Andrea has accepted a position at Howard Bank (this is the same bank where Jeff's wife works). While we will miss seeing her at Sam's, this is a wonderful opportunity for her. She is excited about learning some new skills. Her last day at Sam's will be June 20th.

My Hero by Glenn

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I'm not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Nothing Important

Spring view at College Park Campus

• Tom in Vegas wanted us to know about a new Homeland Security Bill. Things will be different now and Internet surfing, as you know it, will be tracked by what the FBI calls a 'non-intrusive method.' The FBI says you will hardly notice anything different. For a demonstration, click on this link :users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/
  

• Patty had a huge tree removed from her front yard on Monday. It was so large it involved a crane. Paul and Jean, Bill T. and others wandered by to watch all of the excitement. Construction work ranks high on the bagel crowd's "Things to Watch" list.


• Bagel prices are going up due to the increase in flour, etc. Transportation costs have also added to the increases in many of our purchases.


• Don's new granddaughter is named "Channon", joining siblings Chase and Cheney.


• New blog statistics - you know I like them! With the addition of Santiago, Chile, this week, we have reached every continent with the exception of Antarctica! Other new readers in the following countries: 50% United States ; 14.51% Unknown ; 2.52% Germany ; 1.89% United Kingdom ; 1.26% Spain; 0.95% Australia ; 0.63% Ireland; 0.63% Virgin Islands, U.S. 0.63% Bermuda; 0.63% Finland; 0.63% Netherlands ; 0.63% New Zealand; 0.63% Sweden ; 0.32% Canada ; 0.32% Slovakia ; and 0.32% Virgin Islands. We also have new readers in Alaska, Ohio, Alabama, Massachusetts and Michigan.


• I was tempted to put some chairs out this early on Frederick Road for the 4th of July Parade and see if I could provoke others into doing the same. My observation is that once one chair appears, many follow.


• Gene asked Paul if his hand was in a cast for giving someone the middle finger, That would make a better story, but he just tripped. He was feeling better today.


• Harold's cell phone stopped working, so we now have AT and T's version of the Blackberry phone thanks to a 2-for-1 offer. I knew I was in trouble when it came with an instruction DVD. It does everything, GPS navigation, calendar, voice notes, email, Internet searches, videos, photos, etc. The only thing that it doesn't do easily is let you answer the phone when it rings. It notifies me for so many reasons, only one of which is an actual phone call. Now I understand why some readers never turn their phones on unless it is an emergency!


• Saw the latest Indiana Jones movie. while the first movie in the series is still my favorite, this was a very enjoyable film. The famous score by John Williams alone brings back many memories.
  
• Enjoy the beautiful weather!

First Sunday in June

• Big crowd this morning at Sam's. Pat's home construction project has finally been completed and signed off. Pat said she will invite all of us over to see the results one weekend when her daughter and son-in-law are away.
• Dr. Mike was making plans to have Alicia take him and his family sailing around the Inner Harbor in July.
• Talk of Senior Week reminded Jack of the time he ran away from home as a teen to work at the ocean back in the 1940's. They worked for 75 cents an hour and all the fruit they could eat. One day, Jack and his friend were sitting in rocking chairs on a hotel porch (again with the rocking chairs) when a detective hired by Jack's mom sat between them. The detective showed Jack's friend his photo and asked if he knew him. Of course, the friend said "no". The detective never noticed Jack was sitting next to him, maybe because he had bleached his hair blond.
• Congratulations to Don on the birth of his new grandchild, everyone is doing well. (I forgot to ask what the baby's name is, I know it begins with "Ch" .) However, Don reports that 2 year old Cheney is not taking kindly to this newest addition.
• Everyone recalled taking their driver's ed test or teaching someone else to drive. Poor Gladys had to take her test with a broken clutch on the streets of Baltimore. She made it up the hill after stopping at the sign, but missed parallel parking by two inches. Bill said his grandmother was asked, "If you are approaching a railroad crossing and a train is coming, who crosses?" She answered, "Whoever gets there first", and had to wait 60 days before taking the test again. Alicia and her twin sister were getting permits in the State of New York. The computer system crashed between the time that her sister got a permit, right before Alicia's turn. Her mom waited 8 hours for the system to work and for Alicia to get her permit, knowing she couldn't go home with only one 16-year-old twin able to drive. Her mother noted that it did not take that long to give birth to them! Sue recalled that her mom didn't say a lot, but she hit the imaginary brake so often Sue nicknamed her "Thumper". Bill said that after having his son sit in the front seat and watch traffic as if he were driving for a week, his son decided to wait until he turned 18. Many thanks to all of the parents who attempt this nerve-wracking job!

Catonsville High Steel Drum Band opens the Lurman Woodland Theater Concert Series

Paul and Nick head off to Senior Week "downy ocean". Prayers welcome.

Pat presented Doug with his personal plastic knife.

While in Chicago, this place made me think of Don. I wonder why.......

Paul's Graduation 2008!

Once again, we celebrated a special milestone as Paul accepted his diploma from Catonsville High School. Everyone in the family was so proud of him!

Balloons from Miss Dorothy

with Mimi and Pop

with Mom and Dad

with Sarah

With Pop and Bubbie

with Aunt Beth

Long Time, No Post

As you can tell from the photos below, it has been a hectic - but fun - week!

Tuesday, May 27......... Spanish tall ship at the Inner Harbor

Tuesday, May 27..... Jean with Andre Rieu('s bus) at his wonderful concert

Monday, May 26... Memorial day cookout with Beth, Linda, and Ginger the dog

Sat., May 24..... Riding the miniature steam engines at the Leakin Park Herb Festival

Friday, May 23..... Paul gets his first softcrab sandwich at Snyder's.

New treehouses at Longwood Gardens

Thursday, May 22..... Bus trip to Longwood gardens

Interesting sign in Katelyn's Chinatown neighborhood

Wednesday, May 21..... Graduates John and Katelyn pose at the Millenium Cloud, aka the Bean

Happy 21st Birthday, Katelyn!

We went out for drinks after midnight with JC to celebrate Katelyn's 21st birthday.

I think this is one of the few times I have been out after midnight since she was born at 2 am! She has to be out of her dorm room this morning, so we will be moving the last of her belongings to her Chinatown townhouse and maybe shopping.

Cool and windy here, I needed long pants and a coat to walk around the city. It was a temperature drop of over 20 degrees from Saturday. Chicago has many beautiful parks and architecture, so it is really fun to explore. I put my hotel's coordinates into my GPS so I can always find my way back.....but the tall buidings interfere with satellite reception.

Columbia College of Chicago 2008 Graduation

I promised to post photos of Katelyn's graduation here for family and friends.
So please indulge a proud Mom!

In Grant Park

The fun pose with Casey

The artsy pose

The classic pose

On the way to a diploma......gold tassle for honors

After the ceremony with Marie and Danielle

Katelyn and friends after dinner

Wih thanks to Mary Tyler More

Pun Times

Submitted by Pat R.
Here are the 10 first place winners in an International Pun Contest:

• 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. Theflight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only onecarrion allowed per passenger."
• 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!
• 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire inthe craft. Unsurprisingly it immediately sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
• 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
• 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
• 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
• 7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
• 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so theyopened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent Florist friars.
• 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
• And finally: 10. There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

How To Enjoy A Concert

Sarah performed in 2 concerts this week at Arbutus Middle School. All of the groups did great! But some of the show was not on stage but in the audience next to me. This little guy's brothers were singing and he was really supporting them. A mini-lesson on how to enjoy a concert and one's life!

It Has Finally Happened

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Harold and I were driving along I-83 and I saw a dead chicken on the side of the road, its little claws sticking up toward the sky. Now I have sadly observed other types of "road kill", but this was my first chicken. I began to wonder how it had wandered there, which led to the age-old question above. Here are some possible answers:

• BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
• 
  
• JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
• HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...
• 
  DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
• OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
• 
  
• GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
  
• COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
• 
  ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
• 
  JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
• 
  NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
• 
  PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
• 
  MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
• 
  DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
• 
  ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
• 
  JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
• GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
• 
  BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
• 
  ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
• 
  JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
• 
  BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% mailto:cra...#@&&%5E%28C%25> ......... reboot.
• 
  ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
• 
  BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
• 
  AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
• 
  COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
• 
  DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
• 
  AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.=============
  

Happy Mother's Day

Catonsville resident Andrew Broadwater performs in a Mother's Day recital at St. Peter's Church. Andrew is currently attending the Peabody Institute.

• Alicia reported that Sam's tradition continues, although she combined having someone fall into the drink with a rescue. When sailing this week, she got to yell "man overboard #@*^" and singlehandedly pulled her friend from the harbor back into the sailboat. He was OK (other than an atomic wedgie), but Alicia ached all over the next day. So if any of Sam's folks are headed for the water, beware.....these things can happen in threes.
  


• Bill T. was sporting his newly inked dragon tattoo on his right arm. He had protected it from his coat by rubbing diaper rash ointment on it, then wrapping it in plastic wrap. He explained how he goes by Bill everywhere except at work, where he is known by his legal first name, George. Said it causes some confusion when the work people call his house, ask for George, and hear someone yell, "Bill, it's for you!".
  


• Hope everyone enjoyed Mother's Day. Stay dry in the monsoon-like weather today!

You just think the mystery man is reading his paper..... but he sees all!

The latest news.....

• Bill W.'s wife is back in the hospital. Please keep them in your prayers.


• The scouts' spaghetti dinner seemed to be a success! Saw Dana, Gladys and Jack, and the Fosters there. I left before I heard who won the services of the 4 handymen in the auction.


• Congratulations to Allison on her new job at BWI! Hopefully we will see more of her now that she is working nearby again.


• Somehow our family has lost the canister from our Dyson vacuum. This means that when you turn it on, the vacuum simply sprays the dust and dirt around the room. As Bill T. commented, "Vacuuming sucks". Awaiting the replacement part.....


• Blog readers in Stockholm,Sweden; Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; Perth, Australia; New Delhi, India; Tirane, Albania; Quebec, Canada; Ottawa, Canada; Boise, ID; Marquette, MI; Portland, OR; Colorado springs, CO; and Miami, FL.


• Where is John with Sam's canine greeters, Bosco and Sugar? Hope all is well.

Blue Ribbons on Frederick Road

Bill T. asked me about all of the blue ribbons turning up recently. For more information, go to Craig's blog at http://whatsgoingoncatonsville.blogspot.com/.

You may have noticed the dozens of Baby Blue Ribbons that are tied to the fronts of businesses along Frederick Rd. and homes throughout the surrounding community. These purpose of these ribbons, is to call attention to and show support for a wonderful family that lives here in Catonsville and comfort them during this terrible time.

Scott and Amy Morses' four month old son, Jeremy, was hospitalized on 4/1/08. While in the ER to treat dehydration, Jeremy went into cardiac arrest and was placed on life support.

Please see www.morselawmd.com/Jeremy.html for permanent postings of information and events about Jeremy, like the upcoming blood drives, donation information, etc.

A Message from Scott & Amy:

What began as a visit to alleviate dehydration and to rule out any complications as a precaution, quickly changed to our worst nightmare. Jeremy went into cardiac arrest for one hour and was placed on an ECMO machine for life support. Looking back we are thankful to have had the insight to bring him to Hopkins where he has received the best care in the world. Jeremy has been held in the palm of the Lord's hand, he has the best medical team, and the love and support of so many. Jeremy has survived the first 48 hours post cardiac arrest and as of now we have been asked to take it one minute, one hour, one challenge at a time. Anything can happen, but we choose to remain hopeful that he WILL survive. Please pray for our son and share our story with as many people as you can. We know the Lord will hear our prayers. We know that Jeremy's life is in his hands.

JEREMY'S PAGE

This is a temporary page dedicated to my critically ill son, Jeremy Morse, with information about contacts and events.
For more information about Jeremy, visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/jeremymorse.

We are incredibly appreciative and thankful of all of the love, care, support, and encouragement of family, friends, and strangers, who are supporting us through this very difficult time!

Cinco de Mayo

Operation Welcome Home

(Submitted by Glenn)

Check their website for pictures and updates at http://www.operationwelcomehomemd.org/

May 3, 2008
OWH Friends: We hope you are enjoying the beautiful Spring weather. You will find below the May 2008 schedule for Operation Welcome Home. For those who attended events in April, there was a pattern of flights coming in an hour or two early. We adjusted the time of arrival for volunteers, but often, the troops were walking through the doors just as volunteers were arriving. The most important thing is that the soldiers got home safely, but we do not want you to miss out on any of the excitement. If you plan to attend an event, please be sure to check the OWH hotline (410-630-1555) to see if the time of arrival has changed. We monitor the flights and will post updates on the hotline. May 17th is Armed Forces Day, and we plan to have an event that day. What a perfect day to turn out and show our respect and appreciation for our heroes! Bring your family, a friend, or a neighbor. Let’s make this a big event! Thank you again for all of your hard work. Operation Welcome Home is all about our troops, but we could not do this without the volunteers who show up at the airport. We look forward to seeing you at one of the events in May!
Very truly yours,
John Flynn and Kathy Thorp Co-Chairmen

Tuesday, May 6 - 4:00 p.m. - Ken and Lisa Funk
Tuesday, May 13 - 3:15 p.m. - Duke and Jean Case
Saturday, May 17 (Armed Forces Day) - 9:45 a.m. - John Flynn and Kathy Thorp
Wednesday, May 21 - 12:45 p.m. - Bob and Arlise Cianelli
Saturday, May 31 - 6:45 p.m. - Bill and Debby Poteet

From a soldier “I just want to also say that moment will stick with me for the rest of my life. I had not felt such a sense of pride and glorious moment since becoming a Navy Chief 3 years ago. Becoming a Chief and graduating boot camp are the only 2 times before this that I had felt such pride. Of course there have been several proud and wonderful moments throughout my 16 year career, but this will definitely stick with me. The homecomings to family and friends are always so very special and proud moments and are often unmatched and I rank this WELCOME HOME as that kind of special. I was so excited and for lack of a better word shocked that so many strangers would come out and welcome us home and show their support it literally brought tears to my eyes when I was telling my wife and mom about it over the phone that night as I had to wait there in Baltimore one more day before returning home. You all made this a very special and unforgettable Homecoming. Please pass to all your friends my appreciation. Your dedication and taking time from your lives to spend time with us on this day and countless others shows such a great and deep appreciation. Please continue in this effort and continue to keep the men and women who serve in your thoughts and prayers until everyone comes home. Thank you so much!!”

Don't forget, spaghetti dinner at St. John's Sunday night, May 4 (see earlier post)

This beautiful photo was taken yesterday in Tokyo. The fields are planted with different colored phlox as far as the eye can see.

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FYI: STROKE IDENTIFICATION

Here's your Sam's public service announcement. Maybe one of us could save a life, it could happen!

STROKE:
Remember the 1st Three Letters.... S.T.R.

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little
fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call
paramedics) .....she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of
food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying
herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed
away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke,perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die.... they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this.
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke
victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...
totally . He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized,
diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours,
which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps,
STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to
identify. Unfortunately,the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke
victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to
recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke
by asking three simple questions,

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today)

R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the
person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes
to one side or the other , that is also an indication of a stroke.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks,
call 999/911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Happy May Day

Birthdays and Caches

Happy Birthday to Harold's Mom, Ann, on the 29th and our Las Vegas friend, Tom, on May 1!

A joyful Doug celebrates with a treat from Andrea. April 30th is the big day! So far, gift suggestions have included a pair of pants, a compact mirror, shoes, a ten-pack of reading glasses, a new wallet, a pocket knife, and a rocking chair.

Found this MICRO cache in the Patapsco Valley State Park on Sunday.

OK, folks, it there is good weather on Saturday morning, please join me for some local geocaching after breakfast. It shouldn't take too long.There are three caches hidden within a few blocks of Sam's. Wear comfortable shoes; all of these are close to the road. Now I found the tiny container above after hiking 1 1/2 miles into the woods......but the one hidden by Friendly's eludes me. So Max and Zack, I need your expert help!

If the Chairs Are Rocking, Don't Come Knocking

• Doug came in and we sang an early happy birthday to him. He had a surprise party last night at Nick's Seafood. One of his gifts was a book called "Sex After Fifty"; Doug said all of its pages were blank.
  
  
• When Jack heard the word sex, he looked up and said "What?". Gladys said that at their age, now they sit in their rocking chairs on the front porch and just reminisce about sex. Don said now that he knows this, he'll check to see how fast they are rocking when he drives by their house. Bill decided that he needs to go buy some rocking chairs for his house. Jack offered his chairs to anyone who wishes to come and rock with them! Jean remarked that Don's legs were bouncing too close to her throughout this conversation......Don said all the talk about rocking chair sex had him excited. Sue thought that maybe Gladys should put out rocking chairs on the parade route this year instead of folding chairs. Gladys reported that she always sits with Phil Schubert at the parade, not Jack! We all decided that we will never look at rocking chairs in the same way.

• Glenn heard about the silent auction for the services for four men for four hours. Said he would like to get in touch with his feminine side, so he plans to bid on this item too.