Thursday, May 5, 2011

Short Letters

Sue's Broken Foot Story
Imagine you are lying home alone with your broken foot propped up as you were told. You are even being sending emails to the office while you are home recuperating. Suddenly, you hear a commotion from the dining room out of sight. And then Lucy the Cat chases a mouse out of the dining room.....into the kitchen......batting it with her paws. The mouse is literally hopping up and down, as Lucy skillfully herds it.....UNDER YOUR ARMCHAIR. I haven't seen it since. And Lucy is still waiting next to me for it to reappear. I am probably still trapped here in this chair when you read this. Help!!!!

Lucy waits patiently.....

Short Letters:
Thanks to Dusty (Dorothy's husband) for these! Turns out everything is amusing when you're home with a broken foot!


Dear Ugly People, 

You're welcome. 

Sincerely, Alcohol 





Dear Noah, 

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. 

Sincerely, 

Unicorns 





Dear Icebergs, 

Sorry to hear about the global warming. 

Karma's a bitch. 

Sincerely, 

The Titanic 





Dear America, 

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. 

Sincerely, 

Canada 





Dear Yahoo, 

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just 
saying...

Sincerely, 

Google 





Dear 2010, 

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF 
happened?!

Sincerely, 

1985 





Dear Windshield Wipers, 

Can't touch this. 

Sincerely, 

That Little Triangle 




Dear girls who have been dumped, 

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. 

Sincerely, 

BP 





Dear Fox News, 

So far, no news about foxes. 

Sincerely, 

Unimpressed 





Dear Nickleback, 

That's enough. 

Sincerely, The World 





Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, 

Please make one for every skin color. 

Sincerely, Black people 





Dear Osama Bin Laden, 

Marco.... 

Sincerely, United States 





Dear Batman, 

What was your power again? 

Sincerely, Superman 





Dear Customers, 

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. 

Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies 






Dear Mr. Gump 

WTF are you talking about? 
There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're
gonna get....

Sincerely, Jenny 



Dear World, 

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because 
some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK?

Sincerely, 

The Mayans 




Dear White People, 

Don't you just hate immigrants? 

Sincerely, 

Native Americans 





Dear iPhone, 

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You 
piece of shut.

Sincerely, 

Every iPhone User 





Dear Trash, 

At least you get picked up... 

Sincerely, 

The Girls of Jersey Shore 





Dear Man, 

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? 

Sincerely, 

Elephant


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Noah

how long cane you tread water

God

Anonymous said...

this short letters made my day ... it s so fun, i like the titanic, and the 2012 calendar. hahahaha
i m sorry for the broken foot . but nobody dies for a broken foot , and see it this way when you have a broken foot you dont have to work .
sincerly
johel from the avenue of the volcanos

Dusty said...

Thanks for posting the short letters I sent you. I just signed up for this blog because my wife, Dorothy, is one of the Sam's Bagels coffee clutch who leaves me every weekend morning to visit with the bagel clan. She will enjoy reading this blog. Check out my website at: http://imagepro.photography.com/wdustman (it needs updating)
Dusty