When bottom level guys look up, they see only assholes.
Never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
This is a virtual meeting place for the regulars at Sam's Bagels in Catonsville, Maryland. It is hoped that you will get an insight into this crazy cast of characters and share your own humor with us.
| I have big news about my 4 legged kid, Bosco. He successfully passed the tests required to become a Therapy Dog. I had all the confidence in the world that he would but I also had to pass and that was some real pressure but I squeaked through. Only 2 out of 12 passed so we feel pretty good about ourselves. As soon as his certificate comes in the mail we will be going to various nursing homes, retirement homes etc. to help cheer up some folks as well as elementary schools where kids can read to him. I am looking forward to spreading his happiness to others.-------------John |
Sue's Broken Foot Story Imagine you are lying home alone with your broken foot propped up as you were told. You are even being sending emails to the office while you are home recuperating. Suddenly, you hear a commotion from the dining room out of sight. And then Lucy the Cat chases a mouse out of the dining room.....into the kitchen......batting it with her paws. The mouse is literally hopping up and down, as Lucy skillfully herds it.....UNDER YOUR ARMCHAIR. I haven't seen it since. And Lucy is still waiting next to me for it to reappear. I am probably still trapped here in this chair when you read this. Help!!!! Lucy waits patiently..... Short Letters: Thanks to Dusty (Dorothy's husband) for these! Turns out everything is amusing when you're home with a broken foot! Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985 Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed Dear Nickleback, That's enough. Sincerely, The World Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco.... Sincerely, United States Dear Batman, What was your power again? Sincerely, Superman Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies Dear Mr. Gump WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant |
I returned last week from a great trip to China which could only have been better if Eileen could have gone also, but she could not because of Sjogren's disease . I went there to visit my son, Dtr. in law, and two grandsons who live in Shanghai. It included a side trip to Bejing to see and climb the Great Wall, (for which I received a Chairman Mao cap, an official tee shirt and a plaque, at a small cost) and visit Tienemen Square and many other things of interest. Every day was an adventure and it was a perfect vacation Some observations: Traffic is "controlled chaos" Not only cars, trucks and buses, but mopeds, motorcycles, scooters, bicycles, and even carts with two large wheels that looked like they were from the 16th century piled 12-15 feet high with who knows what. These were usually being pulled by a woman while the husband sat in the driver seat. As the old cart went down the street it would be passed by a $500,000 Lamborgini. I also observed a 3 wheel vehicle that was a taxi and could hold a driver and one passenger. It made the Smart car look like a large SUV. I heard more vehicle horns blown in my time in China than I have heard in my entire life in the US. My life was saved numerous times by my son and dtr. in law as I started to walk when I saw the "Walk" sign start flashing. Pedestrians do not have the right of way and by the end of my trip I was getting pretty good at crossing the street with my head going in every direction at the same time. The Chinese people are extremely friendly and like Americans. They like the American lifestyle and are quickly grasping it. Of the thousands of Chinese people I saw in my time there, I doubt if more than 10 of them were overweight. Everyone is active and even the elderly are walking and exercising. The average longevity of the Chinese population in Shanghai is 82. Most of the foreigners are Asian and European. I met a few Americans but not many. Shanghai and Bejing seem to have as many Starbucks as there are in Balto. and I saw a few McDonalds and Burger Kings and even a Kenny Rogers ( must be the last one on the planet). The only beggars I saw were legit. Either double amputees or in very bad shape My son said the only crime he has observed in his six years there are pick pockets. When someone does commit a crime and is caught he says you usually don't see them again. My grandson, Harry is six and in the first grade at a private school that teaches Chinese and English. When ,I helped him with his homework it seemed like it was stuff I was learning in the 3rd or 4th grade many years ago. They take education very seriously over there Something funny---------------My dtr. in law, Thanh, is Vietnamese but she also speaks English and Chinese. One day while my son was at work Thanh and I took off so she could buy Eileen some jade ear rings. We went to many stores before she decided to try another day to find the perfect pair. As we were walking down the street she said, "Papa John, you see these people all stare at us?" Being completely oblivious I said I hadn't noticed. She continued, "They see young girl with old man and they think you my Daddy Sugar" in her Vietnamese accent. Obviously I got a kick out that and when I told my son later he started calling me "Daddy Sugar" It was a great vacation and I want to especially thank HK, Thanh, Harry & Eddie for being such great hosts. John PS--------I have over 800 pictures in my camera, most of which were taken by my son and as soon as I get them out of the camera and into the computer I will forward some of the best ones. PPS----I would have sent this sooner but after being up for 30 straight hours on my return trip to Balto. I caught a horrendous cold and was at the doctor's office the next day. I am finally feeling back to normal, whatever that is.. |