OK everyone, I am officially on vacation now to celebrate our 25th anniversary, so this will be my last post for a week. May I just say "Woo Hoo"! If the Celebrity Solstice sinks or is attacked by pirates, have a bagel in our memory.

• Welcome back to Bill T and his family from the Grand Caymans.
• Bon Voyage to Patty who sails on March 8th. Have a great time!
• Good luck to Jeff taking the icy plunge tomorrow.
• Thanks to my wonderful Mom and Dad for watching over the house and family until Katelyn arrives on Tuesday to help out. x o x o x ox
• I am busy packing, and was shocked to learn that I can't bring any of the items listed below onboard. Now I have to change some of my recreational plans with Harold. Oh well....

What not to Pack For the safety of our guests, the following items are not allowed onboard:
•
Irons / Steamers
•
Candles
•
Illegal drugs
•
Coffee makers
•
Electrical Transformers
•
Flammable liquids and explosives, such as fireworks or pyrotechnics.
•
Firearms including non-firing weapons and starting pistols including BB guns, air guns, gun lighters, flare guns, gun power, and pellet guns
•
Ammunition, including bullets, shot or missile that can be fired using a propellant
•
Imitation or replica weapons, including de-commissioned weapons or those not capable of being fired that are obviously not children's toys
•
Taser or electronic stun guns
•
Pepper or mace sprays
•
Telescopic or regular batons
•
Martial arts equipment (flails, throwing stars, etc.)
•
Compressed gas bottles/cylinders (dive tanks are allowed if they are empty and medical gas bottles are allowed)
•
Diver spear gun
•
Fuel of any kind
•
Knives with blades longer than 4 inches
•
Lockback serrated knives of any length
•
Disguised knives such as belt buckles, flick knives, or hunting knives
•
Axes and hatchets
•
Handcuffs

You're from Maryland and over 40 when....

From John S.....you should write your own blog!

• You rode on street cars.
• You remember the Bay Belle cruise that took you to Betterton and Tolchester beaches before the Bay Bridge was built.
• You watched on TV the shows Duckpins for Dollars, The Collegians, Pinbusters . . .
• You also watched the Buddy Deane Show and Romper Room and Stu Kerr as Professor Cool.
• You know how to pronounce 'Towson.'
• You remember what the Inner Harbor looked like before it was the Inner Harbor.
• You remember when White Marsh was just a marsh!
• You ate at Pollack Johnnie's, Bel-Loc Diner, Little Tavern, Gino's, Read's . . ..
• You remember Friendship Airport.
• You remember driving over the old Kent Narrows Draw-Bridge that snarled weekend traffic coming home from the Ocean.
• You love the Domino Sugar sign you can see across the harbor and the Bromo Seltzer Tower.
• You remember the rotating restaurant on top of the Holiday Inn on Light Street.
• You know Annapolis and Hopkins are national treasures, and you get a kick out of hearing them named in movies or TV.
• You know B&O is not body odor.
• You remember the wonderful spicy downtown smell of McCormick's.
• Every kitchen has a can of Old Bay and King Syrup.
• You refer to your state as 'Murilyn.'
• You and your Mom shopped at Braeger Gutman's, Hutzler's, Stewart's, The May Company, Epstein's, Woolworth's . . .
• Shopping on The Avenue meant Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown.
• You know where 'Downey Ocean' is.
• You remember the Civic Center, Gwynn Oak Park, and Carlin's Park.
• You know Pam Shriver is from Maryland.
• You know how to eat steamed crabs, but also know how to tell the males from the females.
• You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name.
• M R Ducks makes perfect sense.
• You have fond memories of Memorial Stadium.
• You still root for the Orioles even when they aren't doing well.
• Everybody knows what a 'zink' and 'payment' are.
• When anywhere else, you can only laugh when you see signs saying 'Maryland Crab Cakes!'
• You say 'Blare Road' for Bel Air Road
• You remember Jerry Turner and Al Sanders.
• You remember Oprah and Richard Sher together in the mornings on Ch-13.
• Vince Bagli was 'the' sports announcer on TV.
• You remember Mayor Schaeffer swimming with the seals at the National Aquarium.
• You swore Frank Perdue kinda looked like one of his tender chickens.
• You know which bridge they're talking about when someone says, 'The bridge traffic is backed up.'
• You revere the names of Johnny U, Brooks , Frank, Boog and Cal!
• AND:You actually understand all of these and pass them on to other Marylanders to enjoy.

Feel Your Boobies

Our mission: Feel Your Boobies® is a breast cancer non-profit organization whose mission is to utilize unexpected and unconventional methods to remind young women, to "feel their boobies".

Glenn kindly sent me the above public service announcement. But I noticed that the reminder was only aimed at young women. So mature, older women like myself will probably want to wear a scarf like those shown below as a reminder. Thanks for the photo, John S.

So young and old alike, feel your boobies!

Congratulations to Alonyah on starting a new job today. All of your friends at Sam's miss you!

Don't forget about Jeff's polar plunge for Special Olympics this Saturday. Scroll down to an earlier post for the link to Jeff's website. You can donate online to this worthy cause.
When I checked yesterday, Jeff had nearly met his $500 goal.
Also yesterday, the temperature in Oakland, Md, was a balmy 15 degrees. Brrrr.

Glenn sent us this link for all to review the text of President Obama's speech last night at http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/02/obama_address_to_congress.html. Thanks for keeping us informed.

For those of you who desire to waste even more time than spent in reading this blog, join Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/. There you can easily connect with old and new friends. Glenn, Doug, and I are lurking there so be sure to "friend" us.

Who knew that we were supposed to celebrate all of the following this month?
Black History Month
February
American Heart Month
February
Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month
February
National Time Management Month
February
Library Lovers Month
February
Plant The Seeds Of Greatness Month
February
National Weddings Month
February
National Parent Leadership Month
February
National Youth Leadership Month
February
Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month
February
Aggressive Driving Month
February
Workplace Eye Safety Month
February
Burn Awareness Month
February

That One Kid

There is always one kid in class that the teacher is afraid to call on because you don't know what he/she will say or do. In the photo below, you should easily be able to pick out him out. The direction was, "Make a funny face for the camera".........

You can click on the picture to enlarge it. And you wonder why I stay in the education field.

I Don't Write 'em, I Just Post 'em

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest??
They Take The Psycho Path. (Hi Dr. Mike)

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang that doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.?

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers?.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack?!

22. How are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

National Pancake Day

About National Pancake Day
February 24, 2009

Known also as Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras, National Pancake Day dates back several centuries to when the English prepped for fasting during Lent. Strict rules prohibited the eating of all dairy products during Lent, so pancakes were made to use up the supply of eggs, milk, butter and other dairy products…hence the name Pancake Tuesday, or Shrove Tuesday.

Since beginning its National Pancake Day celebration in 2006, IHOP has raised nearly two million dollars to support charities in the communities in which it operates. With your help, they hope to raise $1,000,000 for Children’s Miracle Network in 2009!

From 7 am to 10 am tomorrow, stop by International House of Pancakes for a free short stack of their buttermilk pancakes. All they ask is that you consider making a donation to the Children's Miracle Network or your favorite charity.

Just out of curiousity, I missed National Bagel and Lox Day (February 9th). But today, Feb. 23rd, the following are celebrated:

National Banana Bread Day
Johannes Gutenberg's Birthday
National Dog Biscuit Day

Who knew?

Underwear as Outerwear

How did our friend Tom in Las Vegas know about our ongoing discussion, underwear as outerwear? Check out the link below for an interesting article:

http://isittrue.msn.com/specialsslideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=11989541&imageindex=1&cp-searchtext=History%20of%20undergarments&FORM=MSNLFA

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Best wishes to Bill T and family who are in thr Cayman Islands as I write this. Have fun!

Thanks to Bill W. who passed along a beautiful mirror to hang in my home.


from John S

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
--------------------------- -------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
---------------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
------------------------------------------------ ---------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.----------------------------------- ------ -----------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'

All Good News

Gladys reported that Jack is feeling better and may be back at Sam's this Thursday.

Bill T and family are off to the Cayman Islands this Saturday for a week in Paradise. Think of us while you bask in the sun. Have a great time!

Pat R. is back from her long road trip. Welcome home! We look forward to hearing all about it! Pat sent us this sample diet for post-Valentine Day eating:

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

Check your Driver's License

A public safety announcement from John S:

Check this out.
Check your Driver's License

I definitely removed mine. I suggest you all do the same. Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was...picture and all!

Thanks Homeland Security! Go to the web site, and check it out.

It's unbelievable!!! Just enter your name, city and state to see if yours is on file.
After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement. Please notify all your friends so they can protect themselves, too.

Believe me they will thank you for it.

http://www.license.shorturl.com/

Friday the 13th

• Glenn suggests this as a possible field trip for the bagel gang. Called Preikestolen (Pulpit Rock) in Norway, we will hike for several hours to look over the edge to the fjord a mere 800 feet below. Any takers? I think it looks amazing.
• Jack was feeling very ill over the past few days and didn't make it to Sam's this week. Prayers and best wishes go out to you and Gladys. Get well soon.
• Harold turns the BIG 50 on Sunday the 16th!
• Congratulations to both Alicia and Allison on their new jobs.
• And to the rest of us, TGIF and a Happy Valentine's Day!
  

Deep Creek Dunk for Special Olympics

From our friend, Jeff

Hey there Sam's Bagels,
I will be participating in the 11th Annual Maryland State Police Deep Creek Dunk for the Special Olympics. A couple of friends have convinced me that it is the right think to do and that the water won't be too cold.

The Dunk will be held on February 28 at 2:00 PM. at Deep Creek Lake behind the Uno's Bar and Grille.

The mission of Special Olympics is to provide year-round sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for persons eight years of age and older with intellectual disabilities, giving them continuing opportunities to develop physical fitness, demonstrate courage, experience joy and participate in a sharing of gifts, skills and friendship with their families, other Special Olympics athletes and the community.

Please help support the Special Olympics. The closer I get to my fundraising goal the warmer I will feel in the water.

Feel free to forward this email to friends and family.
Follow the link below to my personal donation page.
Thanks!!!

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Special Olympics - Maryland

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=290690&lis=1&kntae290690=6EABE62D598F4378BF8AFE6444B66C7E&supId=245534034

Bagel Bagel Song

from Katelyn

Subject: Bagel song

Hey mom. My bosses' band Beatnik Turtle has a Bagel song. You should probably share it with your bagel community. Your bagelunity.

http://www.thesongoftheday.com/index.cgi?_d=020909

One Year Ago

This touching photo was from Valentine's Weekend 2008.

• My camera is in the shop for 4-6 weeks, so I thought we'd remember some photos from the past. It's screen became damaged BEFORE the warranty expired, a new experience for me. It's unlikely that I will get it back before our cruise, which is OK since it is also unlikely that I will lose 30 pounds in less than 3 weeks.

• I missed a very funny incident this past Sunday, but I could picture it. Perhaps you can, too. When the sun came streaming through the door at Sam's, Don commented that the glass was dirty. He was given the job of wiping it. As he cleaned the window, he wiggled his butt. The folks in Sam's laughed, so Don gyrated even more. They laughed till they cried, Don went crazy......not realizing that they were laughing because some poor lady was stuck between the two doors behind Don, getting quite a show.

• The weekend before last, Doug lost his car keys right before he was off to referee many basketball games. Everyone helped search the bathrooms, the trash cans, the counters. Paul had just offered to drive Doug home for the spare set when I found his keys....in my own purse. The keys are similar, and I have no recollection of picking them up. Thank goodness Jean suggested that I look there, I would have been very embarrassed to discover them later.

• There are some new offerings at Sam's, including homemade soups, salad, fresh fruit and homemade baked goods. Andy is selling delicious walnut brownies for $1, and 100% of the proceeds goes to benefit Glenn and his family. Pick up some the next time you stop by.

Choosing a Wife

From our friend, John S.

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.


There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer' s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderl y population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Memory Lane

This photo is from a year ago in February 2008.

Who remembers Doug and the "Knife Incident"?

Political Correctness: Now Debate

The Glass Half Full

From our friend, John S.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hair dresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?'

'We're taking Continental,' was the reply. 'We got a great rate!'

'Continental?' exclaimed the hairdresser. 'That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?'

'We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste.'

'Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?'

'We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.'

'That's rich,' laughed the hairdresser. 'You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.'

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

'It was wonderful,' explained the woman,'not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $ 5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!'

'Well,'muttered the hairdresser,'that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.'

'Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.'

'Oh, really! What'd he say ?'

He said: 'Where'd you get the shitty Hairdo?
'

The Broken Hearted Muffin

Even love stories about baked goods don't end well. I was rooting for the bagel, of course.