Idiot Sightings

From our friend, John S.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told usthat one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'enoughmotoron the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largestone Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head andsaid, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 waslarger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not... Four is larger than two..."
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gavethe clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her aquarter. She said, "You gave me too much money. " I said, "Yes I know,but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed andwent to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, andhe handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot dothat kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call thelocal township administrative office to request the removal of the DEERCROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit bycars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to becrossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked theperson behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employeeasked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. Iwas crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. Sheasked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signalsblind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What onearth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as shewas leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commentedcheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not anotherword was spoken. We all just looked at each other with thatdeer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itselfand for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system wouldnot turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up ourcar, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the servicedepartment and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driverside door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively triedthe door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announcedto the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got thatside.

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTINGS:
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had theHawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I wasparking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drovefrom Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the
Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... they REPRODUCE.....and they vote!

Why We Go To Sam's

Found these photos in a file and I don't believe that they were ever posted. Some old, some new, but all should bring a smile to your face. Have a good day!

Jack annoys his Dad, Bill , by squeezing his ear. Happy Father's Day to all this Sunday!

Glenn, Doug, Scott, Dana

Lois, Pat, Don, Bill, Mike, Gene

Cheney and Chase with Dad and Grandpa Don

The gang

Grandpa Don with Channon

Mike with his outerwear gift from Don

Paul and Harold

Max on Dave's bike

Max minus a tooth

Donate a Mammogram

Thanks for the info, Glenn!

Please tell ten friends to tell ten friends today!
The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' -- for free (pink window in the middle). This does not cost you a thing. (Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising.)

Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2

Info From Glenn

Beginning Level Hatha Yogawith Ann Israel, E-RYT
No prior yoga experience necessary!
ALL ARE WELCOME!
Hatha yoga is perfect for you! Join us as we de-stress and cultivate a renewed sense of spirit and well-being.
This “Drop In” class is available to all: Members, Non-members, Men, Women, and Neighbors!
When? Tuesdays, beginning June 2 from 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Where? The Hunting Hills Clubhouse - the room will be air conditioned
How Much? Members $10/class Non-Members $14/class
How Long? This is an ongoing class throughout the summer, drop in only!

Questions? Contact Ann Israel, Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher (E-RYT) with Yoga Alliance at 410-916- 9450

You will need to bring your own yoga mat!

Plan to arrive a few minutes early on your first night to complete a brief form, so you can start on time.

Thank You

Glenn would like to say thank you to Andy for the money donated to him duirng his illness. Andy and his wife sold brownies and gave the proceeds to Glenn. Glenn's recovery continues, and he no longer has a feeding tube.

Hon Fest 2009

There's a Little Miss Hon Contest too.






This is Mr. Nose of Hampden, loved his crabby hat!














Next year we plan to dress appropriately and get our do's done.















Sunday worship in style.













Hampden was the site of the first electric railway in the USA in 1885.












We posed with Elvis as we planned next year's adventure.
Thanks to Pat and Patty for being good sports and going with me.
Love you, hons!

Hon Fest 2009

Come on, Hons, we can get our beehives done there! The Hon Fest is in Hampden this weekend. Should be a blast!

Special Twilight Tattoo Ceremony

Come to Fort McHenry National Monument and Historic Shrine on June 27 at 6:00 p.m. for a special twilight tattoo ceremony featuring patriotic music, military pageantry and living history! The program begins with a concert by the U.S. Navy Band, Drill Team and Color Guard. For a flavor of history, the Fort McHenry Guard, representing the 1814 defenders of Baltimore will demonstrate battle tactics of the War of 1812.

Be part of one of the oldest ceremonies in Baltimore City! Over 100 years ago, Baltimore residents spent Saturday evenings watching the military review of soldiers at Fort McHenry. That tradition lives on today on selected weekend evenings with the free twilight tattoo ceremonies at Fort McHenry. Every ceremony ends with the folding of the great 30 x 42-foot Star-Spangled Banner flag and the firing of the fort’s large evening gun.

Following the concert, the U.S. Navy Drill team will perform modern rifle exercises. Their split-second timing and precision marching have dazzled audiences around the world.

The Fort McHenry Guard offers a unique historical experience at every performance. Dressed in the uniform of the 1814 defenders of Baltimore, the Guard will be doing a cannon drill, musket exercise and a bayonet demonstration. The evening program concludes with the audience folding the large 30 x 42-foot Star-Spangled Banner Flag. The evening ceremony is free, and parking is provided on-site.

Does A Child Throw A Temper Tantrum If Nobody Is Around To See It?

It is hard to explain my job as a pediatric speech therapist. Many times I have to deal with behavior issues before any other work can take place. Although I didn't take this video, I spent the afternoon with a young man who could have starred in it. I was trying to tell the Mom that if the child gets everything he wants or needs just by screaming/crying/tantrumming, there isn't much motivation to talk! If he can turn the crying on and off like this, he isn't hurt or sick, he is playing you. Never underestimate those toddlers, they are very smart!

Steel Drum Concert Tonight

The Catonsville Steel Drum Band performs outdoors tonight at 6 pm to kick off the Lurman Theater summer season. The free concert is on the grounds of the Catonsville High School (Bloomsbury side). Alumni members return to play some old tunes, and the band plays a mind-blowing classical piece too. Hopefully we will be sitting near the path at the top of the hill. Bring yout lawn chairs or blankets and snacks, but no alcohol allowed. No concert if it rains.....the auditorium is being remodeled. Hope to see you there!

• Evening outing...meet us on Saturday, June 6th, to kick off the free Lurman Theater Season at 6 pm with the Catonsville Steel Drum Band. Bring lawn chairs, we will sit in the back.
• Glad to see Jack back and feeling much better.
• Discussed need for a new curse word as current words are so overused that they are no longer effective. Suggestions welcome.
• Talked about using Twitter and we successfully posted a tweet to the blog while sitting at Sam's (talk about new words, these didn't even exist a few years ago). Now we can remember all of those jokes!
• I received something weird in the mail....scripts from Center Stage with a post-it memo to Sue from Irene. I am curious about who she thinks I am and what I am supposed to do with them.
• Doug saw "Star Trak" ([t's Star Trek) and commented that he thought "Zulu" was hot. Turns out that Doug thought "Sulu" (a guy) was the beautiful Lt. Uhura. And you call yourself a Trekkie!
• Congratulations to Andy and family on the graduation of their daughter from college.

There is an excellent website on the history of Memorial day Observations at vhttp://www.usmemorialday.org/.

Memorial Day Tribute

Here is my favorite song that both honors the debt that we owe our soldiers and laments the futility of war. It was written by Eric Bogle and is called "No Man's Land". Don't forget to watch the Memorial Day Tribute from Washington DC this holiday.

Request from Glenn

Please help me support the University of Maryland Greenebaum Cancer Center. I am asking that you sponsor one of my guardian angel's, April Khoury, as she runs in the Maryland Half Marathon on my behalf. Those of you who know me well know i will never run a marathon. This Center saved my life, and April was one of my daily radiation therepist. She personally helped me get thru my ordeal, she was my Guradian Angel. http://mdhalfmarathon.com/donate/runner/?userid=1063
Please feel free to pass this on to anyone that may have been touched by cancer or who may want to help support us. Thanks in advance for your generosity, Glenn,

(see below) ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************Dear

Friends and Family:
On May 31, 2009, I am participating in the Inaugural Maryland Half Marathon to benefit the University of Maryland Marlene and Stewart Greenebaum Cancer Center (UMGCC). While over 10 million people are currently living with cancer in the United States alone, it is likely that we each know a family member or friend affected.

The work being done at the University of Maryland Greenebaum Cancer Center is truly impressive. As a National Cancer Institute and listed among the Top 50 Cancer Programs by US News, I am supporting an organization which truly makes a difference in the lives of its patients.
As I work hard to accomplish my personal running goals, I am directly helping the UMGCC medical team achieve their goals relating to better prevention techniques, advanced detection, and highly effective treatment opportunities. A challenging road lies ahead to finding a cure, but my actions prove that we are heading in the right direction.

Please take a few minutes to view my personal running page. Any amount you are able to contribute is considered a wonderful gift. Even better, if you would like to run with me, I would be truly grateful. I will keep you updated on my progress as race day draws closer.
Thank you in advance for supporting me in the fight against cancer.
Warmly, april khoury http://mdhalfmarathon.com/donate/runner/?userid=1063

545 People by Charlie Reese

from Joe McQuaid, former regular at Sam's

Finally, an email that is 100% non-partisan ! Nancy Pelosi is mentioned only because she is the CURRENT Speaker of the House.

Finally, someone with the guts to say it like it is! 545 vs. 300,000,000 - Every citizen needs to read this and think about what this journalist has scripted in this message. Read it and then really think about our current and past political debacles Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years and a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits? Have you ever wondered if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes? You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country. I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank. I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party. What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist. If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ . If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do. Those 545 people and they alone, are responsible. They and they alone, have the power. They and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

What you do with this article now that you have read it is up to you.

Happy Passover

Tonight is the first night of Passover, so I am passing along a recipe for home-made matzah. (I have not tested this recipe yet, I am not feeling well tonight.) Maybe tomorrow!

Matzah
4 cups flour (can be half white and half whole wheat)
1 1/2 cups water
2 tbl. olive oil (optional)-- this will make it softer, more like a tortilla;
w /o oil, you'll have a cracker

Combine ingredients and knead for ten minutes.
Roll into a ball, cut in half, then cut each half into 8 pieces.
Roll out as thinly as possible into ovals,pierce with a fork several times, to eliminate air holes,and place on baking sheet covered with Parchment Paper.
Bake at 450 to 500 for about 5 minutes, or until slightly browned.

Medical News from John S.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a porkchop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bitso you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND......
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflictingnutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks thanAmericans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you............. ...

A joke from Bill W...........

What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

• Patty had a great vacation and came home with a beautiful blue diamond ring.
• Don paid two dollars for a hug; other offers were ignored.
• The large sausage patties are back at Sam's, they match the size of the bagel again.
• Andy has homemade soup and salads at lunch. Try some!
• Dorothy was planning to watch the ladies' TERPS game today.
• Scott found Doug's referee whistle, is looking for him to return it.
• Bill Z. is still waiting for a replacement part for his van, may be waiting until June.
• The Symphony Designer Home will be Arden House, off S. Rolling Road by the park and ride. Tours start the end of April.

Tribute to Veterans

from Pat R. for all of our veterans

They are leaving us at a high rate these days...

Some years ago:

The elderly parking lot attendant wasn't in a good mood!

Neither was Sam Bierstock. It was around 1 a.m., and Bierstock, a Delray Beach, Fla., eye doctor, business consultant, corporate speaker and musician, was bone tired after appearing at an event. He pulled up in his car, and the parking attendant began to speak. "I took two bullets for this country and look what I'm doing," he said bitterly.

At first, Bierstock didn't know what to say to the World War II veteran. But he rolled down his window and told the man, "Really, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you."

Then the old soldier began to cry.
"That really got to me," Bierstock says.

Cut to today:

Bierstock, 58, and John Melnick, 54, of Pompano Beach - a member of Bierstock's band, Dr. Sam and the Managed Care Band - have written a song inspired by that old soldier in the airport parking lot. The mournful "Before You Go" does more than salute those who fought in WWII. It encourages people to thank the aging warriors before they die.

"If we had lost that particular war, our whole way of life would have been shot," says Bierstock, who plays harmonica. "The WW II soldiers are now dying at the rate of about 2,000 every day. I thought we needed to thank them."

The song is striking a chord. Within four days of Bierstock placing it on the Web, the song and accompanying photo essay have bounced around nine countries, producing tears and heartfelt thanks from veterans, their sons and daughters and grandchildren.
"It made me cry," wrote one veteran's son. Another sent an e-mail saying that only after his father consumed several glasses of wine would he discuss" the unspeakable horrors" he and other soldiers had witnessed in places such as Anzio, Iwo Jima, Bataan and Omaha Beach. "I can never thank them enough," the son wrote. "Thank you for thinking about them."

Bierstock and Melnick thought about shipping it off to a professional singer, maybe a Lee Greenwood type, but because time was running out for so many veterans, they decided it was best to release it quickly, for free, on the Web. Already they have been invited to perform it in Houston for a Veterans Day tribute - this after just a few days on the Web. They hope every veteran in America gets a chance to hear it.


http://www.beforeyougo.us/play_byg

Are Cell Phones Safe?

Pop Corn téléphone portable micro-ondes
Uploaded by sassiere

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy Birthday to Alicia who celebrates on March 19th.

Welcome home to Patty, can't wait to hear about your cruise.

Bill T. had a great time in the Grand Caymans, but had to be rescued from a lagoon. He waved to the lifeguard for help, and at first the lifeguard just waved back!

And I had a special photo from my cruise, taken on a nude beach. Scott said he remembered seeing the same guy when he was there two years ago! You wouldn't forget the elephant man, as Scott nicknamed him.

A joke from John S.
Top o' The Morning To You

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?' 'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied. 'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Marys.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart... just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?' The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his own ears, but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

Smile!

Fave Octomom Mardi Gras Costume

From Bosco's Dad, John S. Be sure to turn the sound on!

Hillcrest PTA Environmental Committee

Did you recently get a new TV, iPod, computer, or fax machine? Do youhave a pile of old electronics in the basement or attic?
The Hillcrest PTA Environmental Committee along with the Old Catonsville Neighborhood Association is sponsoring an electronics recycling day,Saturday, March 14 in the Hillcrest Parking lot on Frederick Road in Catonsville.

Keep your old electronics out of the landfill and the incinerator by dropping them off between 10-2. We will take anything that plugs in or runs off a battery (no A/C units or large appliances). There will be a $10 charge for TV's (because of the need to remove toxic materials from them).

OK everyone, I am officially on vacation now to celebrate our 25th anniversary, so this will be my last post for a week. May I just say "Woo Hoo"! If the Celebrity Solstice sinks or is attacked by pirates, have a bagel in our memory.

• Welcome back to Bill T and his family from the Grand Caymans.
• Bon Voyage to Patty who sails on March 8th. Have a great time!
• Good luck to Jeff taking the icy plunge tomorrow.
• Thanks to my wonderful Mom and Dad for watching over the house and family until Katelyn arrives on Tuesday to help out. x o x o x ox
• I am busy packing, and was shocked to learn that I can't bring any of the items listed below onboard. Now I have to change some of my recreational plans with Harold. Oh well....

What not to Pack For the safety of our guests, the following items are not allowed onboard:
•
Irons / Steamers
•
Candles
•
Illegal drugs
•
Coffee makers
•
Electrical Transformers
•
Flammable liquids and explosives, such as fireworks or pyrotechnics.
•
Firearms including non-firing weapons and starting pistols including BB guns, air guns, gun lighters, flare guns, gun power, and pellet guns
•
Ammunition, including bullets, shot or missile that can be fired using a propellant
•
Imitation or replica weapons, including de-commissioned weapons or those not capable of being fired that are obviously not children's toys
•
Taser or electronic stun guns
•
Pepper or mace sprays
•
Telescopic or regular batons
•
Martial arts equipment (flails, throwing stars, etc.)
•
Compressed gas bottles/cylinders (dive tanks are allowed if they are empty and medical gas bottles are allowed)
•
Diver spear gun
•
Fuel of any kind
•
Knives with blades longer than 4 inches
•
Lockback serrated knives of any length
•
Disguised knives such as belt buckles, flick knives, or hunting knives
•
Axes and hatchets
•
Handcuffs

You're from Maryland and over 40 when....

From John S.....you should write your own blog!

• You rode on street cars.
• You remember the Bay Belle cruise that took you to Betterton and Tolchester beaches before the Bay Bridge was built.
• You watched on TV the shows Duckpins for Dollars, The Collegians, Pinbusters . . .
• You also watched the Buddy Deane Show and Romper Room and Stu Kerr as Professor Cool.
• You know how to pronounce 'Towson.'
• You remember what the Inner Harbor looked like before it was the Inner Harbor.
• You remember when White Marsh was just a marsh!
• You ate at Pollack Johnnie's, Bel-Loc Diner, Little Tavern, Gino's, Read's . . ..
• You remember Friendship Airport.
• You remember driving over the old Kent Narrows Draw-Bridge that snarled weekend traffic coming home from the Ocean.
• You love the Domino Sugar sign you can see across the harbor and the Bromo Seltzer Tower.
• You remember the rotating restaurant on top of the Holiday Inn on Light Street.
• You know Annapolis and Hopkins are national treasures, and you get a kick out of hearing them named in movies or TV.
• You know B&O is not body odor.
• You remember the wonderful spicy downtown smell of McCormick's.
• Every kitchen has a can of Old Bay and King Syrup.
• You refer to your state as 'Murilyn.'
• You and your Mom shopped at Braeger Gutman's, Hutzler's, Stewart's, The May Company, Epstein's, Woolworth's . . .
• Shopping on The Avenue meant Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown.
• You know where 'Downey Ocean' is.
• You remember the Civic Center, Gwynn Oak Park, and Carlin's Park.
• You know Pam Shriver is from Maryland.
• You know how to eat steamed crabs, but also know how to tell the males from the females.
• You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name.
• M R Ducks makes perfect sense.
• You have fond memories of Memorial Stadium.
• You still root for the Orioles even when they aren't doing well.
• Everybody knows what a 'zink' and 'payment' are.
• When anywhere else, you can only laugh when you see signs saying 'Maryland Crab Cakes!'
• You say 'Blare Road' for Bel Air Road
• You remember Jerry Turner and Al Sanders.
• You remember Oprah and Richard Sher together in the mornings on Ch-13.
• Vince Bagli was 'the' sports announcer on TV.
• You remember Mayor Schaeffer swimming with the seals at the National Aquarium.
• You swore Frank Perdue kinda looked like one of his tender chickens.
• You know which bridge they're talking about when someone says, 'The bridge traffic is backed up.'
• You revere the names of Johnny U, Brooks , Frank, Boog and Cal!
• AND:You actually understand all of these and pass them on to other Marylanders to enjoy.

Feel Your Boobies

Our mission: Feel Your Boobies® is a breast cancer non-profit organization whose mission is to utilize unexpected and unconventional methods to remind young women, to "feel their boobies".

Glenn kindly sent me the above public service announcement. But I noticed that the reminder was only aimed at young women. So mature, older women like myself will probably want to wear a scarf like those shown below as a reminder. Thanks for the photo, John S.

So young and old alike, feel your boobies!

Congratulations to Alonyah on starting a new job today. All of your friends at Sam's miss you!

Don't forget about Jeff's polar plunge for Special Olympics this Saturday. Scroll down to an earlier post for the link to Jeff's website. You can donate online to this worthy cause.
When I checked yesterday, Jeff had nearly met his $500 goal.
Also yesterday, the temperature in Oakland, Md, was a balmy 15 degrees. Brrrr.

Glenn sent us this link for all to review the text of President Obama's speech last night at http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/02/obama_address_to_congress.html. Thanks for keeping us informed.

For those of you who desire to waste even more time than spent in reading this blog, join Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/. There you can easily connect with old and new friends. Glenn, Doug, and I are lurking there so be sure to "friend" us.

Who knew that we were supposed to celebrate all of the following this month?
Black History Month
February
American Heart Month
February
Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month
February
National Time Management Month
February
Library Lovers Month
February
Plant The Seeds Of Greatness Month
February
National Weddings Month
February
National Parent Leadership Month
February
National Youth Leadership Month
February
Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month
February
Aggressive Driving Month
February
Workplace Eye Safety Month
February
Burn Awareness Month
February

That One Kid

There is always one kid in class that the teacher is afraid to call on because you don't know what he/she will say or do. In the photo below, you should easily be able to pick out him out. The direction was, "Make a funny face for the camera".........

You can click on the picture to enlarge it. And you wonder why I stay in the education field.

I Don't Write 'em, I Just Post 'em

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest??
They Take The Psycho Path. (Hi Dr. Mike)

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang that doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.?

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers?.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack?!

22. How are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

National Pancake Day

About National Pancake Day
February 24, 2009

Known also as Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras, National Pancake Day dates back several centuries to when the English prepped for fasting during Lent. Strict rules prohibited the eating of all dairy products during Lent, so pancakes were made to use up the supply of eggs, milk, butter and other dairy products…hence the name Pancake Tuesday, or Shrove Tuesday.

Since beginning its National Pancake Day celebration in 2006, IHOP has raised nearly two million dollars to support charities in the communities in which it operates. With your help, they hope to raise $1,000,000 for Children’s Miracle Network in 2009!

From 7 am to 10 am tomorrow, stop by International House of Pancakes for a free short stack of their buttermilk pancakes. All they ask is that you consider making a donation to the Children's Miracle Network or your favorite charity.

Just out of curiousity, I missed National Bagel and Lox Day (February 9th). But today, Feb. 23rd, the following are celebrated:

National Banana Bread Day
Johannes Gutenberg's Birthday
National Dog Biscuit Day

Who knew?

Underwear as Outerwear

How did our friend Tom in Las Vegas know about our ongoing discussion, underwear as outerwear? Check out the link below for an interesting article:

http://isittrue.msn.com/specialsslideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=11989541&imageindex=1&cp-searchtext=History%20of%20undergarments&FORM=MSNLFA

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Best wishes to Bill T and family who are in thr Cayman Islands as I write this. Have fun!

Thanks to Bill W. who passed along a beautiful mirror to hang in my home.


from John S

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
--------------------------- -------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
---------------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
------------------------------------------------ ---------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.----------------------------------- ------ -----------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'

All Good News

Gladys reported that Jack is feeling better and may be back at Sam's this Thursday.

Bill T and family are off to the Cayman Islands this Saturday for a week in Paradise. Think of us while you bask in the sun. Have a great time!

Pat R. is back from her long road trip. Welcome home! We look forward to hearing all about it! Pat sent us this sample diet for post-Valentine Day eating:

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

Check your Driver's License

A public safety announcement from John S:

Check this out.
Check your Driver's License

I definitely removed mine. I suggest you all do the same. Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was...picture and all!

Thanks Homeland Security! Go to the web site, and check it out.

It's unbelievable!!! Just enter your name, city and state to see if yours is on file.
After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement. Please notify all your friends so they can protect themselves, too.

Believe me they will thank you for it.

http://www.license.shorturl.com/

Friday the 13th

• Glenn suggests this as a possible field trip for the bagel gang. Called Preikestolen (Pulpit Rock) in Norway, we will hike for several hours to look over the edge to the fjord a mere 800 feet below. Any takers? I think it looks amazing.
• Jack was feeling very ill over the past few days and didn't make it to Sam's this week. Prayers and best wishes go out to you and Gladys. Get well soon.
• Harold turns the BIG 50 on Sunday the 16th!
• Congratulations to both Alicia and Allison on their new jobs.
• And to the rest of us, TGIF and a Happy Valentine's Day!
  

Deep Creek Dunk for Special Olympics

From our friend, Jeff

Hey there Sam's Bagels,
I will be participating in the 11th Annual Maryland State Police Deep Creek Dunk for the Special Olympics. A couple of friends have convinced me that it is the right think to do and that the water won't be too cold.

The Dunk will be held on February 28 at 2:00 PM. at Deep Creek Lake behind the Uno's Bar and Grille.

The mission of Special Olympics is to provide year-round sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for persons eight years of age and older with intellectual disabilities, giving them continuing opportunities to develop physical fitness, demonstrate courage, experience joy and participate in a sharing of gifts, skills and friendship with their families, other Special Olympics athletes and the community.

Please help support the Special Olympics. The closer I get to my fundraising goal the warmer I will feel in the water.

Feel free to forward this email to friends and family.
Follow the link below to my personal donation page.
Thanks!!!

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Special Olympics - Maryland

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=290690&lis=1&kntae290690=6EABE62D598F4378BF8AFE6444B66C7E&supId=245534034

Bagel Bagel Song

from Katelyn

Subject: Bagel song

Hey mom. My bosses' band Beatnik Turtle has a Bagel song. You should probably share it with your bagel community. Your bagelunity.

http://www.thesongoftheday.com/index.cgi?_d=020909

One Year Ago

This touching photo was from Valentine's Weekend 2008.

• My camera is in the shop for 4-6 weeks, so I thought we'd remember some photos from the past. It's screen became damaged BEFORE the warranty expired, a new experience for me. It's unlikely that I will get it back before our cruise, which is OK since it is also unlikely that I will lose 30 pounds in less than 3 weeks.

• I missed a very funny incident this past Sunday, but I could picture it. Perhaps you can, too. When the sun came streaming through the door at Sam's, Don commented that the glass was dirty. He was given the job of wiping it. As he cleaned the window, he wiggled his butt. The folks in Sam's laughed, so Don gyrated even more. They laughed till they cried, Don went crazy......not realizing that they were laughing because some poor lady was stuck between the two doors behind Don, getting quite a show.

• The weekend before last, Doug lost his car keys right before he was off to referee many basketball games. Everyone helped search the bathrooms, the trash cans, the counters. Paul had just offered to drive Doug home for the spare set when I found his keys....in my own purse. The keys are similar, and I have no recollection of picking them up. Thank goodness Jean suggested that I look there, I would have been very embarrassed to discover them later.

• There are some new offerings at Sam's, including homemade soups, salad, fresh fruit and homemade baked goods. Andy is selling delicious walnut brownies for $1, and 100% of the proceeds goes to benefit Glenn and his family. Pick up some the next time you stop by.

Choosing a Wife

From our friend, John S.

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.


There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer' s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderl y population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Memory Lane

This photo is from a year ago in February 2008.

Who remembers Doug and the "Knife Incident"?

Political Correctness: Now Debate

The Glass Half Full

From our friend, John S.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hair dresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?'

'We're taking Continental,' was the reply. 'We got a great rate!'

'Continental?' exclaimed the hairdresser. 'That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?'

'We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste.'

'Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?'

'We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.'

'That's rich,' laughed the hairdresser. 'You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.'

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

'It was wonderful,' explained the woman,'not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $ 5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!'

'Well,'muttered the hairdresser,'that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.'

'Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.'

'Oh, really! What'd he say ?'

He said: 'Where'd you get the shitty Hairdo?
'

The Broken Hearted Muffin

Even love stories about baked goods don't end well. I was rooting for the bagel, of course.

Ice Is Not Nice

From failblog.org

Woo Hoo! Cancer Free!

All went great and I'm already home!!!! Thx again for your thoughts and prayers,
Love, Glenn

Am I in great hands or what? Today (Feb 3) is the celebration of St. Blaise, patron saint of Throat Illness : http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=28

GOOD LUCK, TODAY, GLENN!
WE ARE THINKING OF YOU!

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Yesterday, Doug was heading off to referee some basketball games and he couldn't find his keys. We all helped search at Sam's, but no luck. Just as Paul was going to drive Doug home for his spare keys, Jean suggested that I look in my purse. There were two sets of nearly identical keys in my purse. I had no memory of putting them there. Sorry, Doug!

John S. and I were just discussing dyslexia today and he sent me this email. Both John and I could read it,,,,,,how about you?

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of th e hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Snow and Ice

I showed Sarah helping set up for her party. Here she is all dressed up for her special night.

The bagel bunch in their fancy duds after dark!

So another birthday has come and gone, and I had a lovely day. Thanks to everyone for the wishes, cards and trinkets. Haven't made it to Sam's all week due to the weather and crazy work schedule. Several folks have been sick with either a head cold or stomach virus, hope all are feeling better.

• Thoughts go out to Pat R on her big Florida adventure. Make it home safely. We miss you.



• Gladys and Jack had the very good news that granddaughter Beth had a good checkup from her cardiologist.

In a discussion on identity protection, Bill T was discussing technology about retinal scans. Well, he meant retinal, but said "rectal", which is an entirely new level of security.

Got to work before 7:30, just in time to catch the sunrise reflecting off of the icy snow.

My team leader, Gina, and I share the same birthday.

(We really worked hard other than this photo op, I swear)

Thanks to Katelyn for the surprise bouquet! Lovely.

Week in Pix

The day after the Ravens lost the play-off game, Zach and Glenn sport Orioles attire (Jan. 20th).

The new restaurant opens at 10 Mellor Avenue, and Glenn and Jeff recommend it for breakfast or lunch.

Sarah celebrated her Bat Mitzvah with family and friends on the 17th.

During the ceremony, helicopters flew overhead as President-elect Obama's train travelled from Baltimore to Washington, DC.

Below-freezing temperatures caused Harold to wear this.

New President Barack Obama on Inauguration Day, Jan. 20th.

(From John S)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when....
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING AT YOURSELF

Update from Glenn

Yesterday I met with Dr. Taylor, the surgeon on my cancer team. He showed us the CAT scan, amazing technology. It confirmed that there is still an enlarged lymph node on the left side of my neck. Last week Dr. Suntha had told us that it appeared on the PET scan. Dr. Taylor called it a dead cluster, a dead lymph node that DID NOT light up in the PET scan. We decided to surgically remove it on Feb 3. I've come this far to chance leaving it in. They will put me under, make a 3" incision, and remove the lymph node. They will immedeiately disect it and make sure there is nothing of concern in it. If there is something, then they will enlarge the incision a bit and remove the surrounding lymph nodes in my neck. Statisitcally there is less than 10% chance of anything, we feel there is nothing!!! I will then be 100%. Thanks, keep your thoughts and prayers coming,

love ya all, glenn

For Word Lovers Everywhere

(Hi Pat, Glad to hear from you! Hope YOU make it back safely! Sue)

Hi Sue,

Thought you might be able to use thisl

So far I have had a very uneventful trip, excluding driving 95 in Georgia. That road has got be the worst in the country. I will probably have to replace my windshield when I get home.

Had a great visit with the Edwards Family in Burgaw, NC. Burgaw reminds me very much of Mayberry, USA, Then on to Bueaufort, South Carolina. It has been about 39 years since I lived there. It really is beautiful. The antebellum homes on the bay have been refurbished and tourism has increased. The Marine Corps Air Station is still there and busier than ever, but it does not dominate the economy as it once did. I have a few post card pictures to show when I get home. Next stop....Sunrise, Florida. Sun Rise is not laid back like other places in Florida. The drivers are wild and remind me of New York City. Turns out most of the people living in the area have retired from New York. My friend Glenda has a small condo in the area. This is a large complex and units are now selling for $28,000. They have lost half of their value.

I was very glad to hear about Glen. Doug needs therapy. I saw his last picture.

Happy hour calls. Will be in touch.

Pat

Subject: FW: For Those Who Love Words

1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
12. Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
14 . Without geometry, life is pointless.
15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
18. What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
19. A backwards poet writes inverse.
20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
21. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.
26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.<>29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.
30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .
32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Serenity

( Submitted by our friend, John S.)

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing About being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, ' For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference

Glenn Kicks Cancer's Butt, Ravens Thrash Titans

Jack, Max and Glenn sport purple to celebrate.
Jack even dyed his mohawk purple. He has to keep it that way through the Superbowl.

Mike took off Bill's hat and re-styled his hair for him.

Mike also stated that Patty was hot and that he wants to date her.

Glenn's son gave him this awesome shirt to share the good news.

The guys look really happy as they celebrate Glenn's great news with him.

When Doug showed up in 2009 again wearing pants with the ripped crotch, everyone had seen enough, especially when he used the hole as a napkin dispenser. New owner Andy ran over with a stapler to solve the problem. Doug's direct quote: "I stapled my thing".

(Doug, I never got my blackmail $$$, so this is the result)

Prayers Answered!

From Glenn:
PET SCAN IS CLEAR!!!!! CHEERS!

Quick Update

• Tomorrow is Glenn's PET scan at 8 am. I know you all join me in sending prayers his way.
• Pat R. starts her big car adventure on Thursday. She will be hitting the highways for 6 weeks. Hope you email your adventures to me for posting....we need to live vicariously!
• Go Ravens!!!
• From Alicia: Doug started a trend. I saw this recipe today for a scooped out bagel sandwich. http://www.rightathome.com/view.aspx?pid=732
• Busy week. Isn't it amazing how many days it takes one to finally relax and how quickly it all evaporates after a holiday?
• Andy was sporting his inaugural bagel burn on his arm from the ovens. Ouch!